So here's me killing time, procrastinating, and catching up with the TMI universe. These TMI questions originally come from April 5, 2011, and were submitted to the community by Hand in My Pants and Other Lustful Desires. I'm not answering all the questions since some have been discussed at other times. Plus I just don't feel like answering all of them. ;) Such is my hot and cold nature. :-*
1. Do you like to be called a slut? (yes, this can pertain to men as well)
absolutely NOT. I don't mind some derogatory epithets when applied jokingly by VERY specific fremily members, but I cannot imagine ANY context in which I would appreciate being called a slut
2. What is your definition of a real man or woman?
For this, I have to point to a quote pic that's making the rounds on the internet: "A real woman can do it by herself, but a real man won't let her." This goes for all genders and sexes as far as I'm concerned. Being whole by yourself is important. Being able to get through it by yourself (as much as you are able) is also important. But having people in your life who won't LET you go it alone, is essential. If your partner doesn't perform that vital, primary function for you... PUTTING a foot down and 'making' you accept help, or do what is best for you on occasion..... Then you can do better. And should.
THAT is the crux of what I seek. Someone who reminds me of my worth and supports me. Who encourages me to do it for myself, helps me recognize that I have the strength within me. But who assists me when I need it, insists when I'm being stubborn, and OFFERS when I DON'T need it. Just because I'm smart, talented, and competent does NOT mean I don't want someone to help me on occasion.
One friend, no longer in my life, will always have a special place in my heart. He was the first person to recognize that need within me, though he may not have recognized what he did at the time. We were at work one night, and I was struggling to hold onto my bundle and get the door open. He asked me, "Do you need some help" And I said no. He asked, "Do you want some help?", and I stopped full in my tracks. I really don't think anyone had ever asked me that before. I set my bundle down, took a deep breath, and said "yes, please".
I'm not very good at asking for help, never have been. And even WORSE at thanking people graciously when they help me out of a bind. Oftentimes I want help so badly, I don't realize that it's still within my power to succeed on my own. IE--During times of extreme stress it's all I can do to get out of bed and go about my regular business because I get so tired and overwhelmed emotionally. But I sally forth because that's what I do; in some ways it's all I know. Failure isn't an option, but yet I forget that I CAN succeed.
So a real man? He won't let me do it by myself all the time. And he'll build me up enough that I don't forget my own strength.
5. Would you rather be the boss in charge or the boss' right hand man/woman?
boy is this a hard Q for me to answer. I know what it is to be the "boss" in many areas of my life, sometimes nonstop. Leadership is hard, often thankless, and very, very lonely. I like to be in charge when I know what I'm doing. Now that I'm an adult it's easier for me to let others lead the way. Less fear, more experience, and a greater ability to trust. The freedom to follow orders instead of issue them can be liberating. I suppose it must depend on the situation. I've had great 'lieutenants' when I've been the boss. I know I wouldn't have managed without them. So I think I know how to be a good lieutenant. I also know how to be a good aunt, sister, and friend. There are certainly days when I don't want to be responsible for my own choices and have someone else tell me what to do, and I'll wager I'm not the only adult who feels that way.
So, I suppose, I'd like to be in a group or situation where we take turns leading and supporting/following. In other words, a flexible, team-oriented career and a large, loving, healthy extended family. Not too much to ask for, right? ;)
7. What sexual act would you never do again?
I had sex a few times on a full sized air mattress back when I first became sexually active. Really not easy, or comfortable. The doggie style was pretty much an unmitigated disaster. The floor may be uncomfortable, but it's more reliable. I'm sleeping on that same air mattress right now, actually, until I can afford to buy a new bed. It has a bit of a slow leak, but not bad. I put more air in it every few days. I have to wonder if the abuse it took over that weekend years ago contributes to the leak. ;)
9. Have you ever wondered how fucking feels to the opposite sex?
I have, actually. Some male friends have tried to explain what it feels like to have an erection, but there really aren't enough words. If I were to have a penis for a day, I'd definitely do some experimenting.
10. Do you remember the first time you heard the term clit, what was your impression?
No, I really don't. BUT I can tell you a fun story. Back in college, fall 2000, I was in a policy debate class. The affirmative resolution focused upon US aid to sub-Saharan Africa. Female genital mutilation/surgery was a topic of research and discussion. My teacher, Cate, powerful feminist and true Amazon, challenged one man in the class that day. I don't know if he was having difficulty discussing the topic, or trying to be PC, or what. He couldn't get the words out. Trying to understand his 'problem', Cate said to him point blank: "What, you can't say clit?" The whole class erupted into gales of laughter. Interestingly, I don't remember his reaction. But that incident made an impression.
11. What is the first thing you ever masturbated to or with?
Just a basic vibrator. The slim, phallus shaped variety. Nothing too fancy.
12. Ladies and gents does Male on Male sex turn you on? Ladies, would you enjoy seeing your husband or boyfriend touch, stroke, such another man in your presence?
Actually it does to an extent. Sometimes I like to hop onto youporn and check out the gay section. Not for a long time, just enough to get myself off and be done. Watching a man fuck another man, IDK what it is about it exactly. Certainly there's the power thing. Women are 'expected' to do and accept so much sexually. Watching one man being fucked by another satisfies some sense of justice? No idea. And as to having my partner with another man, I like the idea of another man being forced to fellate him, or accept my mate's cock up his ass. The idea of someone else actually enjoying my mate's touch??? hmmmm, no. I think I prefer to be the only one enjoying that. Something to think about if/when I partner. I DO very much like the idea of topping a submissive male with my mate. Or him watching me do it. I'm only just starting to explore my Dominant nature, though. So I've really no idea.
hope you enjoyed reading my dirty secrets ;) please, cum and join us playing TMI Tuesday on Worpress! It's not hard. Copy, paste, fill-in and share!
Showing posts with label TMI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TMI. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
TMI extra-- penis edition
These questions come from an old TMI Tuesday I found on The Infidelity Chronicles. They looked liked fun, so here goes!!!
What's more important, length or width?
If I can't have both..... I actually am not sure how to answer. The length and skill to hit certain points are DIVINE. I've only had one that was nice in both length and girth, and he was delightful in MANY ways. The type of man who is all hard body from daily manual labor, no time in the gym at all (fans self). I've had a few that were disappointing, but the men themselves were near my height and wiry. So they were proportionate. So if I have to choose--probably girth, an average penis with decent girth.
Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?
Possibly the one mentioned above. My worry was pretty evident once I got a good look at him. He was careful with me, which was nice. Sometimes he would change his position/technique and say 'average guy size'. Pretty funny. I would have enjoyed more time with him had things been possible. And he hadn't been asking me to send him explicit photos over my cell phone.
Seen a teenie weenie?
Well, yes, I have nephews. ;)
Weirdest looking penis you've seen?
In my professional capacity I've seen some interesting ones. And by professional capacity I mean as a direct care provider to people with special needs. So cut it out. ;)
Any penis deal breakers?
Filth and smell will do it. Never been with an uncircumcised male, and not sure I care to. I don't care how careful you are about cleanliness.....
Best place to put a penis?
Deep inside me if the mood, and the MAN, is right. ;)
Best all-around penis you've had your hands on?
The one mentioned in the first question. Gorgeous man, fabulous cock. There's a very delicious-looking one I'd love to truly get my hands on, as opposed to just through his jeans. Maybe next life time ;)
If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?
Honestly, I'd probably spend a decent amount of time masturbating. A good way to help me understand the male of the species. I'd get up and walk around and sit down suddenly a few times, try to get some empathy on that front. Or is it balls you guys have to be more careful of in that aspect? I wouldn't go out and get laid, unless maybe I was in a relationship and my partner(s) wanted me to fuck him/her/them. Wouldn't mind getting a blow job though to see what it's like. I'd be far less concerned about picking up an STD from a pro if I chose to go that route. And I'd be sure take time to learn how to hit the bowl correctly without making a mess. Then any male I know wouldn't be able to talk back about that. Hit the damn target. And if not, CLEAN IT THE FUCK UP!
sorry, but boys (especially my brothers) are GROSS sometimes!!!!
Hope y'all had fun!!!
What's more important, length or width?
If I can't have both..... I actually am not sure how to answer. The length and skill to hit certain points are DIVINE. I've only had one that was nice in both length and girth, and he was delightful in MANY ways. The type of man who is all hard body from daily manual labor, no time in the gym at all (fans self). I've had a few that were disappointing, but the men themselves were near my height and wiry. So they were proportionate. So if I have to choose--probably girth, an average penis with decent girth.
Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?
Possibly the one mentioned above. My worry was pretty evident once I got a good look at him. He was careful with me, which was nice. Sometimes he would change his position/technique and say 'average guy size'. Pretty funny. I would have enjoyed more time with him had things been possible. And he hadn't been asking me to send him explicit photos over my cell phone.
Seen a teenie weenie?
Well, yes, I have nephews. ;)
Weirdest looking penis you've seen?
In my professional capacity I've seen some interesting ones. And by professional capacity I mean as a direct care provider to people with special needs. So cut it out. ;)
Any penis deal breakers?
Filth and smell will do it. Never been with an uncircumcised male, and not sure I care to. I don't care how careful you are about cleanliness.....
Best place to put a penis?
Deep inside me if the mood, and the MAN, is right. ;)
Best all-around penis you've had your hands on?
The one mentioned in the first question. Gorgeous man, fabulous cock. There's a very delicious-looking one I'd love to truly get my hands on, as opposed to just through his jeans. Maybe next life time ;)
If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?
Honestly, I'd probably spend a decent amount of time masturbating. A good way to help me understand the male of the species. I'd get up and walk around and sit down suddenly a few times, try to get some empathy on that front. Or is it balls you guys have to be more careful of in that aspect? I wouldn't go out and get laid, unless maybe I was in a relationship and my partner(s) wanted me to fuck him/her/them. Wouldn't mind getting a blow job though to see what it's like. I'd be far less concerned about picking up an STD from a pro if I chose to go that route. And I'd be sure take time to learn how to hit the bowl correctly without making a mess. Then any male I know wouldn't be able to talk back about that. Hit the damn target. And if not, CLEAN IT THE FUCK UP!
sorry, but boys (especially my brothers) are GROSS sometimes!!!!
Hope y'all had fun!!!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
TMI: Cum, are you a fan?
TMI Tuesday: September 4, 2012
This week's TMI questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of The Late Phoenix.
I can't say as I'm quite sure what he means by some of these questions, different mind and all, nor am I too keen on them. But I'm playing along anyway to the best of my ability. We appreciate you submitting questions, good sir!
Cum, are you a fan?
1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing--a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection--of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
I can't speak for others, but I am NOT an incurable sex addict. At least not in the vein I think Phoenix means. I haven't had intercourse or a partner for two full years. I flirt with girlfriends in a non-threatening way. I read the occasional trashy novel, and masturbate when I need to. Possibly less than I should. I have some sex toys and that can help me 'force' myself to orgasm. Arousal and orgasm are both difficult for me, and you can read more about that here.
But if we're talking outlets, probably sexting with my friend now out of state. We did a LOT of that the first 6 months of this year. He's the person I spoke of in my TMI Throwback earlier this August. Thanks to him I got to experiment with spanking. which I apparently really enjoy. We no longer sext out of respect for his new partner, but still have some pretty fabulous double entendre play when in the mood. (word nerds, unite!) We also exchange naughty jokes and joke pics.
I've never had a very active, or very good, sex life. So not knowing what I'm missing makes it easier to get through horny times.
2. Have you ever loved somebody so much that you worried having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
Umm, sort of. I had a good friend for many years who is no longer in my life. I mentioned him in the Regrets TMI a few weeks ago. I loved him deeply, and think I was half in love with him. He helped me through some very difficult times. I was perfectly willing to go to bed with him. The emotional attachment was very strong. I think the reason we never DID get together is that we were both so terrified that sex would ruin our friendship. So we danced around it quite a bit and drove our mutual friends NUTS. I wouldn't really call it a pristine or pure love, though. We were both VERY aware of each other's faults.
3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
Not so much. I'm not my type. I'm flexible and open to experimentation with a woman, but again, my body type doesn't appeal to me. I appreciate toned arms and legs on women, neither of which I have. It might be interesting to experiment with certain touching. I do know what I like in some ways, and it's more difficult to stroke certain parts of my body with feather light fingertips then others. And getting into position can spoil the erotic bent. But really, not so much.
4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.
I'm not entirely sure what is meant by the question as it can be taken a myriad of ways. I am a fan of TMI Tuesday, and The Naughty Hangout (TNH). Especially the latter. I was introduced to both by Nolens Volens after a friend referred me to his first blog (Alienus-Kairos). NV doesn't play TMI Tuesday anymore, but his TNH posts are always wonderful. I stalk him regularly. I have also recently become a fan of Jack and Jill's blog, but they are quite prolific. I'm not able to look as regularly as I'd like, and am only starting to really explore there. Their answers are always quite thorough.
5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you while fucking?
----SNORT----
Let me explain a bit about my religious upbringing and spirituality. My father is a Lutheran minister (formerly ALC and now ELCA) and as the men in his family going back many generations, all the way to the old country. One of my great-grandfathers and great uncles on my mother's side were also Lutheran ministers, again going back many generations to the old country. Clergy, service, divinity, et al runs through my veins pretty strongly. I have a pretty firm foundation in theology, doctrine, church history and other things.
So, from a childhood upbringing, yes, God knows/sees everything. And God created things and set it in motion. BUT God also gave us free will, and by disobeying in the garden we brought upon ourselves the concept of original sin. OK, so God knows we fuck. Knows how we fuck. And even if He doesn't approve, He doesn't interfere because He gave us free-will. My question then becomes-- if He is in charge of everything, doesn't He have far more important things to do than watch me fuck??? And He doesn't control me, because I have free-will. PLUS, even if I'm a sinner in an evil, demented, sexual way--since He's all-loving as well, I get forgiven.
So for ME, this question is downright silly. But I know that many people don't feel that way. I have to say I'm kinda impressed that some of my past lovers didn't totally wig out at my dog always insisting on being in the room.
Now, from a contemporary perspective-- if the Divine(s) want to watch, I'm really ok with that. It's not as though I realize They are there. But with all the things They can be doing and observing, I have a hard time believing that I am REALLY all that interesting. I'm sure we can all be good entertainment/stress relief on occasion. I mean, really, would YOU want to be God or Goddess???? If They miss it the first time around, everything is recorded for posterity in the Akashic records, so they can always watch it later. But with everything else, I can always REQUEST that some things be private. Divine beings are pretty good about respecting your privacy unless you're a danger to yourself or others. And they have a LOT of things on their plate--again with the whole the Divine has better/more important things to do. I'm pretty certain They enjoy a good bout of fucking, cuddling, and love-making on occasion as well. Human creativity is pretty much limitless, but you can't tell me that some sexual practices weren't other-wordly inspired one or two times. ;)
So, no, the prospect doesn't creep me out. I don't worry about my soul being in jeopardy because of my sexual activities, preferences, or fantasies. Occasional porn and naughty books aren't sending me to hell. If I REALLY feel the need for privacy from Divine and/or non-carnates, all I have to do is ask. Frankly, I think the Divines don't WANT to know everything. Who would? It spoils surprises, and in some ways breaks hearts. We can probably TMI them out if we try really hard. LOL
I know some people do worry about this, though, and it makes me sad for them.
Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Nothing really. My new toys arrived and I've tried them out a little. Not sure how I feel about them yet. Can't get a lot of privacy at present. And I'm starting to get one or two new messages via FetLife. Men who are interested in letting me abuse them. So I guess that's something.
Wow! I put up quite a few things this week. What can I say? I'm a nerd and currently back in academia, I cite everything. :D Don't forget to check out TMI Tuesday to see who else is playing this week. And feel free to join us!
This week's TMI questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of The Late Phoenix.
I can't say as I'm quite sure what he means by some of these questions, different mind and all, nor am I too keen on them. But I'm playing along anyway to the best of my ability. We appreciate you submitting questions, good sir!
Cum, are you a fan?
1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing--a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection--of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
I can't speak for others, but I am NOT an incurable sex addict. At least not in the vein I think Phoenix means. I haven't had intercourse or a partner for two full years. I flirt with girlfriends in a non-threatening way. I read the occasional trashy novel, and masturbate when I need to. Possibly less than I should. I have some sex toys and that can help me 'force' myself to orgasm. Arousal and orgasm are both difficult for me, and you can read more about that here.
But if we're talking outlets, probably sexting with my friend now out of state. We did a LOT of that the first 6 months of this year. He's the person I spoke of in my TMI Throwback earlier this August. Thanks to him I got to experiment with spanking. which I apparently really enjoy. We no longer sext out of respect for his new partner, but still have some pretty fabulous double entendre play when in the mood. (word nerds, unite!) We also exchange naughty jokes and joke pics.
I've never had a very active, or very good, sex life. So not knowing what I'm missing makes it easier to get through horny times.
2. Have you ever loved somebody so much that you worried having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
Umm, sort of. I had a good friend for many years who is no longer in my life. I mentioned him in the Regrets TMI a few weeks ago. I loved him deeply, and think I was half in love with him. He helped me through some very difficult times. I was perfectly willing to go to bed with him. The emotional attachment was very strong. I think the reason we never DID get together is that we were both so terrified that sex would ruin our friendship. So we danced around it quite a bit and drove our mutual friends NUTS. I wouldn't really call it a pristine or pure love, though. We were both VERY aware of each other's faults.
3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
Not so much. I'm not my type. I'm flexible and open to experimentation with a woman, but again, my body type doesn't appeal to me. I appreciate toned arms and legs on women, neither of which I have. It might be interesting to experiment with certain touching. I do know what I like in some ways, and it's more difficult to stroke certain parts of my body with feather light fingertips then others. And getting into position can spoil the erotic bent. But really, not so much.
4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.
I'm not entirely sure what is meant by the question as it can be taken a myriad of ways. I am a fan of TMI Tuesday, and The Naughty Hangout (TNH). Especially the latter. I was introduced to both by Nolens Volens after a friend referred me to his first blog (Alienus-Kairos). NV doesn't play TMI Tuesday anymore, but his TNH posts are always wonderful. I stalk him regularly. I have also recently become a fan of Jack and Jill's blog, but they are quite prolific. I'm not able to look as regularly as I'd like, and am only starting to really explore there. Their answers are always quite thorough.
5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you while fucking?
----SNORT----
Let me explain a bit about my religious upbringing and spirituality. My father is a Lutheran minister (formerly ALC and now ELCA) and as the men in his family going back many generations, all the way to the old country. One of my great-grandfathers and great uncles on my mother's side were also Lutheran ministers, again going back many generations to the old country. Clergy, service, divinity, et al runs through my veins pretty strongly. I have a pretty firm foundation in theology, doctrine, church history and other things.
So, from a childhood upbringing, yes, God knows/sees everything. And God created things and set it in motion. BUT God also gave us free will, and by disobeying in the garden we brought upon ourselves the concept of original sin. OK, so God knows we fuck. Knows how we fuck. And even if He doesn't approve, He doesn't interfere because He gave us free-will. My question then becomes-- if He is in charge of everything, doesn't He have far more important things to do than watch me fuck??? And He doesn't control me, because I have free-will. PLUS, even if I'm a sinner in an evil, demented, sexual way--since He's all-loving as well, I get forgiven.
So for ME, this question is downright silly. But I know that many people don't feel that way. I have to say I'm kinda impressed that some of my past lovers didn't totally wig out at my dog always insisting on being in the room.
Now, from a contemporary perspective-- if the Divine(s) want to watch, I'm really ok with that. It's not as though I realize They are there. But with all the things They can be doing and observing, I have a hard time believing that I am REALLY all that interesting. I'm sure we can all be good entertainment/stress relief on occasion. I mean, really, would YOU want to be God or Goddess???? If They miss it the first time around, everything is recorded for posterity in the Akashic records, so they can always watch it later. But with everything else, I can always REQUEST that some things be private. Divine beings are pretty good about respecting your privacy unless you're a danger to yourself or others. And they have a LOT of things on their plate--again with the whole the Divine has better/more important things to do. I'm pretty certain They enjoy a good bout of fucking, cuddling, and love-making on occasion as well. Human creativity is pretty much limitless, but you can't tell me that some sexual practices weren't other-wordly inspired one or two times. ;)
So, no, the prospect doesn't creep me out. I don't worry about my soul being in jeopardy because of my sexual activities, preferences, or fantasies. Occasional porn and naughty books aren't sending me to hell. If I REALLY feel the need for privacy from Divine and/or non-carnates, all I have to do is ask. Frankly, I think the Divines don't WANT to know everything. Who would? It spoils surprises, and in some ways breaks hearts. We can probably TMI them out if we try really hard. LOL
I know some people do worry about this, though, and it makes me sad for them.
Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Nothing really. My new toys arrived and I've tried them out a little. Not sure how I feel about them yet. Can't get a lot of privacy at present. And I'm starting to get one or two new messages via FetLife. Men who are interested in letting me abuse them. So I guess that's something.
Wow! I put up quite a few things this week. What can I say? I'm a nerd and currently back in academia, I cite everything. :D Don't forget to check out TMI Tuesday to see who else is playing this week. And feel free to join us!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
TMI throwback-- 163
Once again I'm revisiting OLD TMI posts. I wasn't sure if I'd care for this week's TMI Tuesday, it's not always my cup of tea. I am trying to be a little more prolific among our naughty little community, so I figure this helps me to catch up a bit. The following questions originate from TMI #163, on December 2, 2008. I found it while perusing old entries by NV on his first blog. NV closed that one for comments when he started Secret Spot 2.0 in January of this year, but it's still visible to the public and very entertaining reading.
Yes, he knows I stalk him, and hasn't called the authorities one me. Yet. Such a magnificent cock ....... (fans self)
OK
I liked the questions asked on that particular day. I tried to find the original TMI Tuesday post, but it seems to have disappeared with it being locked down, yadda yadda. If you want to read NV's answers from that day, you can find them here. NV submitted the Qs that week, and was thrilled to have them selected. Following his lead, I will answer two times. First from an everday perspective, and secondly from a sexual one.
1. What are your turn ons?
From an everyday persepctive I'd have to say intelligence, humor, kindess, and to an extent, education. I prefer to surround myself with people similar to myself in those regards. I am intellegent, educated, and a WORD NERD. So if you can spar with me verbally, I want to be in your life even peripherally.
From a sexual perspective, looking at the physical only, I'm a sucker for a gorgeous set of eyes, men in glasses, a nice set of strong arms with broad shoulders, and men with large, strong hands. (shudder) Him being several inches taller than I is also my preference. It makes me feel more feminine and petite. Returning to the non-physical-- I mentioned word nerd-- loooooong periods of flirting via text, IM, email, across the table at lunch.... does it every time. There are other things, certainly, but if I had to pick JUST ONE that I know is always relevant, I choose intellectual foreplay.
And a man who can dance............ oh mama!
2. What are your turn offs?
Everyday-- rudeness, condescension, unwillingness to listen. Everyone has a bad day; I get that. But I do not have time for people who can't at least be civil on a daily basis.
Sexually-- I cannot STAND to be tickled. And if you sneak up behind me thinking it's funny and manage to catch me unawares (which is rare) and tickle me, there's a very good liklihood you'll get decked. It's reflexive for me, and I can't always pull the punch once I realize who it is. Too much talking in bed can be a problem, as can the type of talk. There's a line between erotic and explicit. 9 times out of 10 explicit is going to turn me off, or worse.
3. Not counting your turn-ons, what's the best trait a person can have?
Everyday-- integrity. I chose this word carefully. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes we falter. But integrity encompasses many characteristics that I want in friends, family, and lovers. Now, if you're a member of my inner circle, you have to have patience. I'm blessed to have many people who love me, despite what a massive pain in the ass I tend to be. So patience is a must. As is having the ability to help me laugh, at myself and the world in general. I tend to take things WAY too seriously.
Sexually-- I repeat with the patience. I can count and remember all the lovers I've had, and name each except my one night stand. I can count the men I've had intercourse with on one hand. I find it daunting to enter into ANYTHING with a man at this point in my life, knowing that my abilities, skills, knowledge, etc is going to be woefully lacking. So the willingness to let me find my own pace and learn is important. Along with that comes experience, experience is a boon. Someone who knows enough to help me discover in an atmosphere of trust and safety. Widsom/experience helps with that.
And there's a certain level of confident, almost arrogant leadership exhibited by trustworthy men in a bedroom sense that just buckles my knees. I'm one of those strong women who looks for someone else to be in control for a little while, even if it's temporary or illusory.
4. Not counting your turn-offs, what's the worst trait a person can have?
Everyday and sexually-- being unreliable. Not following through. I'm a busy woman, and when someone offers to do something for me or commits to do something, I need to know that it will get done.
5. What's your biggest pet peeve?
hmmmm, from an everyday perspective this is tough. My brother clicks his pen as a nervous tick. That gets on my nerves, but thankfully I don't see that brother very often. People who are unnecessarily loud bother me, or who are loud all the time. And I don't mean shouting to be heard across a room or someone hard of hearing who doesn't understand where her volume is. People who text and drive both bother AND frighten me. People who answer text messages during mealtime, or who consistently check their texts/messages when we're having a sit down conversation also get on my nerves.
Sexually-- I HATE having to always, or almost always, be the initiator.
I dislike it when men try to direct my head if I'm going down deep throat. Moving me to where he wants, fine. Keeping my head where he wants it, fine. Pulling himself further in, or locking me in place...... sometimes I choke. That scares anyone and it breaks my rhythm. Head is not about D/s for me, it's about mutual pleasure. And to an extent, me having control in the sense that I'm driving my partner wild. I'm not really sure how to articulate that one.
And I cannot STAND IT when men go straight for my crotch. Let me warm up a bit please! My clit, even when asleep, is FAR more sensitive than your cock. That's scientifically documented. There are twice the nerve endings in the clitoris than in the entire penis. Lubrication does NOT EQUAL arousal, guys. Not mentally, emotionally, or sometimes even physically. Human bodies have adapted to survive, and if the hinderregion of a woman's brain thinks sex is imminet whether she wantsw it or not, oftentimes her body lubricates. It's a defensive mechanism.
Or when kissing he immediately sticks his tongue down my throat. Kissing is intimate for me, and while linked it's sex, it isn't something I engage in with all partners. Bad kissing ruins things for me. I know some of these are probably turn offs, but for some reason the pet peeves section felt more appropriate.
Bonus-- describe your best and worst experience
I'm a rare bird in one particular area of my life. As loquacious as I am; by personality, upbringing and education; there have been a few very specific moments in my life that I treasure so keenly, I do not share them. They are my own. I pull them out and wrap around myself, reliving them in mind and spirit to the best of my ability. In this way they stay untarnished. Certain moments that I treasure are just for me.
And I rarely discuss my 'worst' experiences, sexual or otherwise. That is what therapy and very close friends are for. Now bad days, bad experiences? Oh you betcha!! Venting it my friend. Like all of us I've had plenty of disappointing sexual interludes. I will say that my first experience receiving cunnilingus was very disappointing. Now to be fair, I didn't know what to expect. My college boyfriend, I have no idea how experienced he was in these things. Certainly more experienced in general, he dated from 6th grade on and I didn't have one real date in high school. He was very strong in his feelings that certain things should wait until marriage, so we never went beyond oral. I remember not getting much out of it, and that he really wasn't anywhere near my clit. Just spent a lot of time sticking his tongue into my vaginal opening. Now, had other techniques been engaged that might have been enjoyable. But since that's all it was.... meh. Not so much.
And if anyone if wondering, yes, I AM buttering NV up with all these shout outs. I'll leave it to y'all to wonder what I'm trying to get out of him. :D
Yes, he knows I stalk him, and hasn't called the authorities one me. Yet. Such a magnificent cock ....... (fans self)
OK
I liked the questions asked on that particular day. I tried to find the original TMI Tuesday post, but it seems to have disappeared with it being locked down, yadda yadda. If you want to read NV's answers from that day, you can find them here. NV submitted the Qs that week, and was thrilled to have them selected. Following his lead, I will answer two times. First from an everday perspective, and secondly from a sexual one.
1. What are your turn ons?
From an everyday persepctive I'd have to say intelligence, humor, kindess, and to an extent, education. I prefer to surround myself with people similar to myself in those regards. I am intellegent, educated, and a WORD NERD. So if you can spar with me verbally, I want to be in your life even peripherally.
From a sexual perspective, looking at the physical only, I'm a sucker for a gorgeous set of eyes, men in glasses, a nice set of strong arms with broad shoulders, and men with large, strong hands. (shudder) Him being several inches taller than I is also my preference. It makes me feel more feminine and petite. Returning to the non-physical-- I mentioned word nerd-- loooooong periods of flirting via text, IM, email, across the table at lunch.... does it every time. There are other things, certainly, but if I had to pick JUST ONE that I know is always relevant, I choose intellectual foreplay.
And a man who can dance............ oh mama!
2. What are your turn offs?
Everyday-- rudeness, condescension, unwillingness to listen. Everyone has a bad day; I get that. But I do not have time for people who can't at least be civil on a daily basis.
Sexually-- I cannot STAND to be tickled. And if you sneak up behind me thinking it's funny and manage to catch me unawares (which is rare) and tickle me, there's a very good liklihood you'll get decked. It's reflexive for me, and I can't always pull the punch once I realize who it is. Too much talking in bed can be a problem, as can the type of talk. There's a line between erotic and explicit. 9 times out of 10 explicit is going to turn me off, or worse.
3. Not counting your turn-ons, what's the best trait a person can have?
Everyday-- integrity. I chose this word carefully. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes we falter. But integrity encompasses many characteristics that I want in friends, family, and lovers. Now, if you're a member of my inner circle, you have to have patience. I'm blessed to have many people who love me, despite what a massive pain in the ass I tend to be. So patience is a must. As is having the ability to help me laugh, at myself and the world in general. I tend to take things WAY too seriously.
Sexually-- I repeat with the patience. I can count and remember all the lovers I've had, and name each except my one night stand. I can count the men I've had intercourse with on one hand. I find it daunting to enter into ANYTHING with a man at this point in my life, knowing that my abilities, skills, knowledge, etc is going to be woefully lacking. So the willingness to let me find my own pace and learn is important. Along with that comes experience, experience is a boon. Someone who knows enough to help me discover in an atmosphere of trust and safety. Widsom/experience helps with that.
And there's a certain level of confident, almost arrogant leadership exhibited by trustworthy men in a bedroom sense that just buckles my knees. I'm one of those strong women who looks for someone else to be in control for a little while, even if it's temporary or illusory.
4. Not counting your turn-offs, what's the worst trait a person can have?
Everyday and sexually-- being unreliable. Not following through. I'm a busy woman, and when someone offers to do something for me or commits to do something, I need to know that it will get done.
5. What's your biggest pet peeve?
hmmmm, from an everyday perspective this is tough. My brother clicks his pen as a nervous tick. That gets on my nerves, but thankfully I don't see that brother very often. People who are unnecessarily loud bother me, or who are loud all the time. And I don't mean shouting to be heard across a room or someone hard of hearing who doesn't understand where her volume is. People who text and drive both bother AND frighten me. People who answer text messages during mealtime, or who consistently check their texts/messages when we're having a sit down conversation also get on my nerves.
Sexually-- I HATE having to always, or almost always, be the initiator.
I dislike it when men try to direct my head if I'm going down deep throat. Moving me to where he wants, fine. Keeping my head where he wants it, fine. Pulling himself further in, or locking me in place...... sometimes I choke. That scares anyone and it breaks my rhythm. Head is not about D/s for me, it's about mutual pleasure. And to an extent, me having control in the sense that I'm driving my partner wild. I'm not really sure how to articulate that one.
And I cannot STAND IT when men go straight for my crotch. Let me warm up a bit please! My clit, even when asleep, is FAR more sensitive than your cock. That's scientifically documented. There are twice the nerve endings in the clitoris than in the entire penis. Lubrication does NOT EQUAL arousal, guys. Not mentally, emotionally, or sometimes even physically. Human bodies have adapted to survive, and if the hinderregion of a woman's brain thinks sex is imminet whether she wantsw it or not, oftentimes her body lubricates. It's a defensive mechanism.
Or when kissing he immediately sticks his tongue down my throat. Kissing is intimate for me, and while linked it's sex, it isn't something I engage in with all partners. Bad kissing ruins things for me. I know some of these are probably turn offs, but for some reason the pet peeves section felt more appropriate.
Bonus-- describe your best and worst experience
I'm a rare bird in one particular area of my life. As loquacious as I am; by personality, upbringing and education; there have been a few very specific moments in my life that I treasure so keenly, I do not share them. They are my own. I pull them out and wrap around myself, reliving them in mind and spirit to the best of my ability. In this way they stay untarnished. Certain moments that I treasure are just for me.
And I rarely discuss my 'worst' experiences, sexual or otherwise. That is what therapy and very close friends are for. Now bad days, bad experiences? Oh you betcha!! Venting it my friend. Like all of us I've had plenty of disappointing sexual interludes. I will say that my first experience receiving cunnilingus was very disappointing. Now to be fair, I didn't know what to expect. My college boyfriend, I have no idea how experienced he was in these things. Certainly more experienced in general, he dated from 6th grade on and I didn't have one real date in high school. He was very strong in his feelings that certain things should wait until marriage, so we never went beyond oral. I remember not getting much out of it, and that he really wasn't anywhere near my clit. Just spent a lot of time sticking his tongue into my vaginal opening. Now, had other techniques been engaged that might have been enjoyable. But since that's all it was.... meh. Not so much.
And if anyone if wondering, yes, I AM buttering NV up with all these shout outs. I'll leave it to y'all to wonder what I'm trying to get out of him. :D
Monday, August 20, 2012
TMI Throwback
This week's TMI held very little relevence for me, so I'm doing a throwback. Today's TMI Throwback comes from March 29, 2011 and it's kind of random.
1. Who would you call for bail money?
That's a no brainer, my cousin, Cleo. Sadly, she's 6 hours away by car. But she would still be my first thought!
That's a no brainer, my cousin, Cleo. Sadly, she's 6 hours away by car. But she would still be my first thought!
2. Your life has been threatened unless you do one of the three folllowing things. Which would you do? Why?
a. Do a sanctioned and well-promoted strip tease at a WWE event
b. Have sex with anyone of your choosing in a full of trash garbage dumpster
c. Star in your own Girls Gone Wild video knowing that it will be distributed, for free, in your hometown.
Another no brainer-- B. Neither A nor C is something I could walk away from personally or professionally. ESPECIALLY professionally. And the thought of each gives me an eye twitch. But B.... if we have good footing and can stand up it could be workable. He could be fully covered except having his cock out. I could wear stuff on my legs all the way up and a long skirt, and be covered everywhere else. Get in, get it done, get out. Followed by burning whatever we had been wearing and a very thorough self-scrub that would exceed CDC standards for outbreak protocols.
a. Do a sanctioned and well-promoted strip tease at a WWE event
b. Have sex with anyone of your choosing in a full of trash garbage dumpster
c. Star in your own Girls Gone Wild video knowing that it will be distributed, for free, in your hometown.
Another no brainer-- B. Neither A nor C is something I could walk away from personally or professionally. ESPECIALLY professionally. And the thought of each gives me an eye twitch. But B.... if we have good footing and can stand up it could be workable. He could be fully covered except having his cock out. I could wear stuff on my legs all the way up and a long skirt, and be covered everywhere else. Get in, get it done, get out. Followed by burning whatever we had been wearing and a very thorough self-scrub that would exceed CDC standards for outbreak protocols.
3. What is your most hated chore on your household chore list?
hmmmmm, I don't know that I HATE any chore per se, though some of them sometimes get on my nerves. Like never-ending laundry or dishes. Back in the day though, I'd have said cleaning the litter box. Dogs are more work in many ways, but picking up a yard is less odious to me than changing litter.
hmmmmm, I don't know that I HATE any chore per se, though some of them sometimes get on my nerves. Like never-ending laundry or dishes. Back in the day though, I'd have said cleaning the litter box. Dogs are more work in many ways, but picking up a yard is less odious to me than changing litter.
4. Do you do any chores naked? Which one(s)?
I'll start laundry nude after stripping down. But actually DOING chores naked... sometimes I'll do dishes. I'm very clothing casual in my own home, and some friends' homes, but when doing chores a little clothing is usually recommended. I mean, do you want to cook at a hot stove without at least an apron on in case of spill or splatter?
I'll start laundry nude after stripping down. But actually DOING chores naked... sometimes I'll do dishes. I'm very clothing casual in my own home, and some friends' homes, but when doing chores a little clothing is usually recommended. I mean, do you want to cook at a hot stove without at least an apron on in case of spill or splatter?
5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you turn out to do that?
uhhh, for awhile I wanted to be a trial lawyer a la LA Law. Didn't become an attorney. Thought about being a professional singer/performer, but by late high school decided I didn't want to be a starving artist. Beyond that, I can't remember.
uhhh, for awhile I wanted to be a trial lawyer a la LA Law. Didn't become an attorney. Thought about being a professional singer/performer, but by late high school decided I didn't want to be a starving artist. Beyond that, I can't remember.
6. One of your scars, how did you get it?
I have a small, oval keloid in the middle of my chest just under my neck. It's from a drain when I had surgery my freshman year of college. Had part of my thyroid removed.
I have a small, oval keloid in the middle of my chest just under my neck. It's from a drain when I had surgery my freshman year of college. Had part of my thyroid removed.
7. What is on the wall in your bedroom?
Right now, nothing. I'm in between housing situations and am crashing with friends. I miss my dog. :((
Right now, nothing. I'm in between housing situations and am crashing with friends. I miss my dog. :((
8. Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep?
snore--yes, sometimes. It's pretty quiet, but a little louder when very tired or congested.
grind my teeth-- sometimes. Started when a bad car accident screwed up my neck alignment. When I have scowl lines on my forehead in the morning I know that I was grinding/clenching and my stress level is higher than I'd previously realized. Chipped teeth that way.
talk in my sleep-- yes, sometimes. Apparently I can be very entertaining.
snore--yes, sometimes. It's pretty quiet, but a little louder when very tired or congested.
grind my teeth-- sometimes. Started when a bad car accident screwed up my neck alignment. When I have scowl lines on my forehead in the morning I know that I was grinding/clenching and my stress level is higher than I'd previously realized. Chipped teeth that way.
talk in my sleep-- yes, sometimes. Apparently I can be very entertaining.
9. What type of music do you listen to?
I don't listen to a lot of music these days. But I was raised on folk and 80s popular music. I enjoy show tunes and classical on occasion, listen to Indie and filk by little known artists, but mostly stick to instrumental, new age, and nature sounds. Running water and rain are VERY relaxing for me. I prefer nature sounds WITHOUT accoustical music paired with it.
I don't listen to a lot of music these days. But I was raised on folk and 80s popular music. I enjoy show tunes and classical on occasion, listen to Indie and filk by little known artists, but mostly stick to instrumental, new age, and nature sounds. Running water and rain are VERY relaxing for me. I prefer nature sounds WITHOUT accoustical music paired with it.
BONUS: Buried or cremated? Why?
Cremated. There is NO reason to buy a casket, plot, and headstone. My spirit is gone, body an empty shell. Save the money and the ground space. I'll pick a nice spot where you can spread me out and release what is left of me back to earth. After a certain specific bits are dedicated to science, and organs donated if possible.
Cremated. There is NO reason to buy a casket, plot, and headstone. My spirit is gone, body an empty shell. Save the money and the ground space. I'll pick a nice spot where you can spread me out and release what is left of me back to earth. After a certain specific bits are dedicated to science, and organs donated if possible.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
TMI Throwback: Sex and Romance
This TMI throwback comes from February 28th of this year. The topic that day for TMI Tuesday was Sex and Romance. The WordPress gang asked: "Who doesn't enjoy a little romance or the art of seduction before engaging in sex? Often times the prelude is better than the actual event."
I agree wholeheartedly. So here are the answers to the questions I chose:
What's more important, a romantic relationship or your career?
this is difficult to answer, many years ago it would have been a no-brainer, and now I'm not so sure. All through my high school and college years, I was focused on getting my shit together. Get the education, get the career, make your mark. THEN look for love. Well, I'm in my 30s and have neither career nor partner. Careers can be satisfying and sustain you, but they're hardly enough. In the last year I've been working on getting my professional life moving in the direction I want for many reasons, but among them I may never partner or have children. Thus having something that gives me satisfaction and something to do with my time becomes very important.
I want a partner. I want children of my own and have seriously considered fostering and adoption once I have more financial stability. I have a manageable, genetic health condition which sometimes knocks me on my ass. It has several times in the last year to different degrees of severity. So I know going it alone as a single parent is not exactly wise. Nor do I have a support system in place to help me.
But as to which is more important? Neither. Fremily is most important. A rather interesting woman I know introduced me to the term "fremily". I don't know if she coined it, but it's my new favorite word. Fremily is friends and family. The genetic people who truly are your family, and the non-genetic family (very good friends) who are close enough to be considered family. Those who are your nearest and dearest. Where you are always welcome, and remembered during good times and bad.
I'm blessed to have some truly wonderful people in my life, almost ALL of them are a minimum 3 hour drive away. Gets rather frustrating when I want to hang out or if I'm having a particularly bad day/week/etc. Gas is expensive and the modern world keeps everyone ridiculously busy. So if I can't have a partner, I want a fremily. Jobs come and go. Careers can be built, rebuilt, or shifted laterally. Fremily, once built, is forever. I can be sister and aunt PP and be very fulfilled that way. These days, I'm focused on being the member of a fremily or three.
So neither. Whyever would I want to be the same as everyone else? ;)
You love to role play in the bedroom, which one of these is more likely to be your kink?
a. doctor and the naughty nurse
b. you're the gardener, I'm the hoe
c. persnickety principal and the wayward pupil that needs a spanking
d. me Tarzan, you Jane
e. scatter-brained boss and the seductive secretary
hmmmm. I'm rather new to roll-play, and mostly via sexting or sexy IM. I rather enjoy it. I have to say option C-- principal and student. I've recently been able to experiment with spanking, and I REALLY like it.
REALLY like it.
A friend helped me experiment, and I think he really enjoyed it as well. When we've sexted, we usually do it along the lines of teacher/student. That works well for me. I also like the idea of Me Tarzan, you Jane. Never played that particular game, but there's something about the idea of controlled dominance that appeals to me. The carefully controlled fantasy of being taken against a wall, over a couch, etc. That turns me on.
When you want sex, who tends to make the first move?
a. Me! I like to go for what I want.
b. It varies. Sometimes my partner/significant other/date or sometimes me.
c. Oh definitely the other person. Even if I want it, I'm not about to admit such a thing.
d. I drop subtle hints hoping s/he will pick up on it.
Weeeeellllll, I'll drop hints but I don't know how subtle they always are. So D is part true. As to C, it's not that I'm opposed to admitting I want sex, but I don't have a good track record when it comes to rejection. So I'm not very confident initiating. A is difficult for me where the bedroom is concerned. B is always the ideal, of course. I would be much happier/more comfortable if I had a partner who initiated often. Then I'd be more confident as the initiator.
When it comes to lovemaking, select the answer that best describes you/your attitudes:
a. vanilla -- meets society's middle of the road standards
b. adventurous
c. kinky
d. trisexual -- I will try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure. --Mae West
A, B, or C depending on my mood. Quietly vanilla in missionary position can be very intense emotionally, and delightfully intimate. Adventurous and kinky can also be fun. I have a lot of things on my sex bucket list to cross off under those two categories.
But you can FORGET about D. Some things are just NOT sanitary. Some things aren't to my taste. And some things.... I love Mae, though. "When I'm bad, I'm very bad, but when I'm good I'm even better" :D
You want to seduce that sexy someone, what is the sweet-nothing that you'll whisper in his/her ear?
When thinking about my most recent flirtation, actual whispering didn't work. Most of our interaction was WAY too public. Certain types of pictures were very effective. >:) Going commando, and telling him, got nice reactions. As did asking for a spanking. We had a LOT of intellectual foreplay via text. I've gotten some great masturbation sessions out of them. Sadly, I moved out of state and we don't get to play live any more. Such is life.
BONUS: What's your idea of a romantic getaway?
This is actually VERY easy. Someplace private in the woods near a body of water. Hills or mountains a bonus. Nature, beauty, quiet. The ability to walk around in my birthday suit wherever I want. A fireplace, a screened porch, places to walk and hike and watch and enjoy. During cold weather the enforced solitude would be nice. So would enduring lots of storms. Wonderful to watch and listen to. As long as there is plenty of food, indoor plumbing, and A/C in case of extreme heat ...... sign me up!
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