TNH-- Leisure, Messy, Solitude

I had some great ideas for this week's TNH.  I was fairly certain how to incorporate at least 2, maybe all 3, themes into the same photo.  Alas, this is not to happen.  WAY too much going on and limited computer time.  Hence me being up early this week.

I spent Sunday at the zoo with friends, so there was some leisure.  Got some great photos of several animals in both leisurely and solitary positions.  As to messy......... well zoo, animals....  ;)

Being that my life is extremely messy right now, I'm letting this week's TNH go in the traditional N sense. I take what leisure I can, and would TRULY love to gain some solitude. For about a week undisturbed in my own bed.

But on a happy note, I slept very well last night (Tuesday). This morning I showered and one of my FAVORITE Cosby show episodes was on tv. So I enjoyed some leisure and solitude this morning.

So here it is for YOUR viewing pleasure:

With This Ring, Part 1

With This Ring, Part 2

Happy TNH!  Don't forget to visit The Naughty Hangout to see who else played this week.  And, please, feel free to join us!

TMI: Cum, are you a fan?

TMI Tuesday: September 4, 2012
This week's TMI questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of The Late Phoenix.

I can't say as I'm quite sure what he means by some of these questions, different mind and all, nor am I too keen on them.  But I'm playing along anyway to the best of my ability.  We appreciate you submitting questions, good sir!
Cum, are you a fan?

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing--a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection--of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
      I can't speak for others, but I am NOT an incurable sex addict.  At least not in the vein I think Phoenix means.  I haven't had intercourse or a partner for two full years.  I flirt with girlfriends in a non-threatening way.  I read the occasional trashy novel, and masturbate when I need to.  Possibly less than I should.  I have some sex toys and that can help me 'force' myself to orgasm.  Arousal and orgasm are both difficult for me, and you can read more about that here.
      But if we're talking outlets, probably sexting with my friend now out of state.  We did a LOT of that the first 6 months of this year.  He's the person I spoke of in my TMI Throwback earlier this August.  Thanks to him I got to experiment with spanking. which I apparently really enjoy.  We no longer sext out of respect for his new partner, but still have some pretty fabulous double entendre play when in the mood.  (word nerds, unite!)  We also exchange naughty jokes and joke pics.
      I've never had a very active, or very good, sex life.  So not knowing what I'm missing makes it easier to get through horny times.

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much that you worried having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
      Umm, sort of.  I had a good friend for many years who is no longer in my life.  I mentioned him in the Regrets TMI a few weeks ago.  I loved him deeply, and think I was half in love with him.  He helped me through some very difficult times.  I was perfectly willing to go to bed with him.  The emotional attachment was very strong.  I think the reason we never DID get together is that we were both so terrified that sex would ruin our friendship.  So we danced around it quite a bit and drove our mutual friends NUTS.  I wouldn't really call it a pristine or pure love, though.  We were both VERY aware of each other's faults.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you?  Describe this experience in full detail.
      Not so much.  I'm not my type.  I'm flexible and open to experimentation with a woman, but again, my body type doesn't appeal to me.  I appreciate toned arms and legs on women, neither of which I have.  It might be interesting to experiment with certain touching.  I do know what I like in some ways, and it's more difficult to stroke certain parts of my body with feather light fingertips then others.  And getting into position can spoil the erotic bent.  But really, not so much.

4. Cum, are you a fan?  Explain and expound.
       I'm not entirely sure what is meant by the question as it can be taken a myriad of ways.  I am a fan of TMI Tuesday, and The Naughty Hangout (TNH).  Especially the latter.  I was introduced to both by Nolens Volens after a friend referred me to his first blog (Alienus-Kairos).  NV doesn't play TMI Tuesday anymore, but his TNH posts are always wonderful.  I stalk him regularly.  I have also recently become a fan of Jack and Jill's blog, but they are quite prolific.  I'm not able to look as regularly as I'd like, and am only starting to really explore there.  Their answers are always quite thorough.

5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you while fucking?

                                  ----SNORT----

       Let me explain a bit about my religious upbringing and spirituality.  My father is a Lutheran minister (formerly ALC and now ELCA) and as the men in his family going back many generations, all the way to the old country.  One of my great-grandfathers and great uncles on my mother's side were also Lutheran ministers, again going back many generations to the old country.  Clergy, service, divinity, et al runs through my veins pretty strongly.  I have a pretty firm foundation in theology, doctrine, church history and other things.
      So, from a childhood upbringing, yes, God knows/sees everything.  And God created things and set it in motion.  BUT God also gave us free will, and by disobeying in the garden we brought upon ourselves the concept of original sin.  OK, so God knows we fuck.  Knows how we fuck.  And even if He doesn't approve, He doesn't interfere because He gave us free-will.  My question then becomes-- if He is in charge of everything, doesn't He have far more important things to do than watch me fuck???  And He doesn't control me, because I have free-will.  PLUS, even if I'm a sinner in an evil, demented, sexual way--since He's all-loving as well, I get forgiven.
      So for ME, this question is downright silly.  But I know that many people don't feel that way.  I have to say I'm kinda impressed that some of my past lovers didn't totally wig out at my dog always insisting on being in the room.
      Now, from a contemporary perspective-- if the Divine(s) want to watch, I'm really ok with that.  It's not as though I realize They are there.  But with all the things They can be doing and observing, I have a hard time believing that I am REALLY all that interesting.  I'm sure we can all be good entertainment/stress relief on occasion.  I mean, really, would YOU want to be God or Goddess????  If They miss it the first time around, everything is recorded for posterity in the Akashic records, so they can always watch it later.  But with everything else, I can always REQUEST that some things be private.  Divine beings are pretty good about respecting your privacy unless you're a danger to yourself or others.  And they have a LOT of things on their plate--again with the whole the Divine has better/more important things to do.  I'm pretty certain They enjoy a good bout of fucking, cuddling, and love-making on occasion as well.  Human creativity is pretty much limitless, but you can't tell me that some sexual practices weren't other-wordly inspired one or two times.  ;) 
      So, no, the prospect doesn't creep me out.  I don't worry about my soul being in jeopardy because of my sexual activities, preferences, or fantasies.  Occasional porn and naughty books aren't sending me to hell.  If I REALLY feel the need for privacy from Divine and/or non-carnates, all I have to do is ask.  Frankly, I think the Divines don't WANT to know everything.  Who would?  It spoils surprises, and in some ways breaks hearts.  We can probably TMI them out if we try really hard.  LOL 
      I know some people do worry about this, though, and it makes me sad for them.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
      Nothing really.  My new toys arrived and I've tried them out a little.  Not sure how I feel about them yet.  Can't get a lot of privacy at present.  And I'm starting to get one or two new messages via FetLife.  Men who are interested in letting me abuse them.  So I guess that's something.


Wow!  I put up quite a few things this week.  What can I say?  I'm a nerd and currently back in academia, I cite everything.  :D  Don't forget to check out TMI Tuesday to see who else is playing this week.  And feel free to join us!

TNH-- Unfinished, Letting Go

 I decided to go with the two alternative themes of unfinished and letting go this week, instead of the primary theme of bridges.  I live in Saint Louis, so between the Missouri and Mississipi Rivers, I have MANY choices for bridges.  For the most part, though, they accomodate trains and cars.  That can be a tad challenging, and chancy for someone without a vehicle.

Plus, that meant getting to a river.  I'm doing the decapitated chicken MARATHON right now (as opposed to my typical jig), so I'm simplifying and minimizing whereever possible(a).  Yeah, I'm being literal.  Bite me.  :p

And be warned, this reads more like a blog entry than a TNH this week. 

Let's start with the letting go theme.  We all have times of stress.  We all know that letting it go would benefit us, but it's often easier said than done.  Even if you're regularly excersizing, eating right, and doing all the little things that yogis and physicians alike teach us will help lower stress, sometimes it isn't enough.  There's the intro.  Here's the segue---

In many cultures there are symbolic and ritual ways to release things that harm us, or that no longer serve us in a positive way.  Habits, addictions, emotions, etc etc etc.  Part and parcel to this is signalling a change, moving on to a new phase if you will.  One of these methods involves the cutting of one's hair.  Historically, Roman Catholic nuns we shorn clean upon taking their final vows.  Many reasons for that but the example is a good one.  Even today when people enter boot camp in the US miltary, all men get a military haircut.  Beyond the rational of convenience/cleanliness, it signals the beginning of their service.  It separates them from the general population, their time before enlistment, and creates a bond among their fellow service personel. 

I wear my hair short, mostly for convenience.  I work.  I commute via mass transit.  I go to school.  Every minute NOT spent on hair care is another minute spent sleeping or something else.  I am blessed to have very thick, healthy hair. And a LOT of it. Any person who has ever cut it (and there are many, since I go to the bargain places these days) remarks upon it. I warn them to set aside extra time for me. ;) A good hairdo goes a LONG way towards helping me feel presentable.  But I also hate having my hair on my neck or in my face.  When it was still long, 95% of the time it was back in a ponytail or in a French braid.  I don't really see the point in having long hair when I wasn't doing anything with it.  Another reason I keep it short.  Plus I save a lot of money on shampoo and conditioner.

One challenge of short hair, is that you have to keep on top of it.  Especially if the cut looks awful when not maintained.  Last December I managed to get a FANTASTIC cut.  Haven't gotten it quite back there, sadly, but I'm mostly able to tell the gals what I want.  As it grows out, it continues to look decent for about an inch to inch and a half.  It's one of those styles that needs very little work.  With next to no effort it's everyday casual.  With some gel I can look ready to go clubbing.  With a round brush and some time I can look very classy, ready for a formal event.  LOVE IT.

front view, tucked, December 2011

front view, messy/fun

side view, partially pulled-up

I apologize for the poor photo quality. These were taken with an older phone. I keep these to show the stylists to give them an idea what I want. It grew out BEAUTIFULLY. I let it go a little bit longer than I should, but as you can see, it was still manageable in mid March, just before I got a cut.

taken by a friend with his professional grade camera, quite the difference, huh?
and yes, that is my natural color.  and it was full of sweat, so not quite right.  I am blessed.  :D

I think by now everyone realizes my point-- I am overdue for a haircut. This is what I looked like earlier yesterday (Weds):


horrible lighting.  the shape is overgrown, so not cut well to begin with.  And, as I got a little more skilled blocking out my face, I decided to have a little fun.

But I'm not done talking.  :D  There are some cultures that consider it a great sign of trust to leave a physical part of yourself with someone.  By this I mean a lock of hair, fingernail, or even bit of blood.  Even today there are some spiritual paths that use these items for magic, spell-working and the like.

I know this to be true, because I am one of them.

Now ethics, belief, and stereotyping aside-- I DO know people who refuse to let strangers cut their hair.  Both in everyday American society, and among more shamanistic peoples in North America (whether they be of Native American decent or not)  Personally, I have no fear of someone stealing m hair to work their negative will against me.  Most of the time, I leave my hair at the salon, though sometimes I take it with me and put it in my garden.


I stopped at the crash pad quickly yesterday afternoon to get a bite to eat before heading to the salon.  Only to have my hostess stumble in ill, and promptly fall on her bad knee.  SO I spent last night helping her and didn't get my hair cut.  DAMNIT.  Earliest I can get to it is Saturday.

Why is this so important to me?  Well, I'm having a difficult time right now.  After a cut I can feel the tangible difference when I run my fingers through my hair.  I can see the change in the mirror.  My intent was to take my hair with me.  So that in my hand, I'd have evidence of something that had changed.  Something that I wanted would have gotten accomplished.  Something that makes ME feel better.



Evidently, the unfinished bit of this week will last longer than anticipated.

So this weekend, I am committing to myself to get a trim and do as previously intended.  When I sit in the chair (and who doesn't love the endorphin rush you get from someone messing around up there) I'll focus on letting myself relax.  Releasing what I can, and enjoying the physical sensations.  I haven't yet decided WHAT to do with the cuttings, but whenever/whenever I do cast it from me I will do so with conscious intent.  Prayers for better things and the removal of that which hurts me.  Prayers that the myriad of things currently in flux, and very UNfinished might move towards completion. 

But on the FINISHED side of things, I did shave my legs.  :D

before I thinned the forest.  chainsaws are our friends  ;)

(a) Shameless plug/bitching and moaning-- I'm currently without permanent address.  I'm bouncing around on different friends' couches living out of a bag.  My things are in storage and my dog is 3 hours away with my parents.  I had to get out of a very dangerous housing situation very quickly.  SOOOOO I'm a little stressed.  Prayers and positive energies directed my way would be GREATLY appreciated.

TNH-- fear, addiction, pleasure

Integrating this week's 3 themes for TNH was very easy conceptually, though getting the shots proved rather challenging.

This week's TNH-- main theme of Fear, with secondary themes of Addiction and Pleasure-- was inspired by something I read on NV's blog back in March.  In it, he mentioned a game he and a woman he knows played on a regular basis.  She would ask him what type of underwear she was wearing for the day, and he would have to guess.  If he guessed correctly, then she had to snap a naughty photo of her.

I liked the idea of that game very much.  So I started playing it with a man I know, now living out of state.  I've mentioned him before in my TMI throwback the other week.  I would give him the options every day-- type of fabric, cut of garment (boy shorts, thong, etc), pattern or plain, if plain, then color.  Sometimes I made it difficult in how I posed the question.  Some were 50/50 answers, some weren't.  Occasionally he got it correct, but more often than not, he missed one part.

I quickly became addicted to the game.  I loved the thrill of knowing he was looking at me partly clothed.  Especially since I knew he was doing it at work.  I loved knowing that he enjoyed the game as much as I did.  It gave me great pleasure.  The potential of a reward enticing him. And the fear?  What if he guessed correctly?  Then I'd have to pay up.  And sometimes what he asked of me REALLY pushed my limits. 

But he understood me well, having an idea of just what would be too much.  More often than not I had to take the revealing photo, or follow through on the resulting order at work or school.  That also contributed to my fear.  Dropping trou in the bathroom stall to take a photo?  Yikes!  I have to admit to getting a decent amount of pleasure, a rush if you will, of following his instructions.

We no longer play our game, out of respect for his new partner.  More's the pity.  He may have been tiring of the game, I don't know.  I didn't ask.  Hopefully we can find a new, permissible game at some point.

But as to this week's actual post-- quite a bit of FEAR getting this up and running.  As I've already mentioned, I'm currently without internet where I'm crashing.  Posting from a smartphone is decidedly difficult, although I am able to do the typing without too much worry at a computer lab.  I'm currently at my volunteer job writing this.  It's Wednesday afternoon, and I have a modicum of privacy.  I really wanted to do something fancy, like give you some preview shots of some of my undies.  I have a variety, and several favorites.  But I think getting up one shot may be pushing my luck as is!!!  I snuck into the fully enclosed handicapped stall, and did my best to get a shot for you.  And I can't preview here, only able to unlock one blogger window at a time due to safety filters. 

and now it's Thursday morning, and I'm having to review and post from an open computer in the student Union at school.  Having to load the image from here also.

and YIKES with the FEAR!
I hope everyone enjoys it!!!!!!!

Don't forget to check out The Naughty Hangout to see who else played this week!

TNH-- Faded, New

Sadly, for this week's TNH, I didn't have to think.  The alternate theme of new occurred quite unexpectedly, and without any joy on my part.

Last Thursday (lovely weather that day) I sat down to wait for the bus.  I was tired, it would be a good 20 minutes, and I didn't feel like holding my bags of groceries.  At some point I felt what seemed to be a sharp pinch or two, as if something had bitten me.  I rubbed and scratched and did my best to ignore it.  After arriving home I continued to rub and scratch periodically throughout the night.  I asked my new roommate to take a look for me.

She told me I had a welt, and asked if I wanted alcohol.

I told her that I had already applied witchhazel, but I couldn't see and wanted to be sure.  I went to bed Thursday night, scratching occasionally.  Got up on Friday, showered, and went about my day.  Mid afternoon my inner hip/upper butt on the right side was still bothering.  I asked a friend to take a look.  She replied that I had multiple welts.  So I asked her to take a picture so I could get a better idea.

taken at approximately 1:30, Friday afternoon.  

As you can see above, I have several larger welts, and many smaller ones, working their way south along my ass.  The creasing towards the upper part of the picture on my skin is from my waistband.  So that gives you an idea for distance.

I put more alcohol on it, tried not to scratch, and sent this photo out to my mother and a few select friends.  By then I was wondering if I had been bitten, or reacted to a plant or something else.  Louis kept saying he thought it was poison ivy.  EEEEEK!  He has had it more than once on his nether regions, poor schmuck.  I KNEW it wasn't fleas.  My dog doesn't have them, they aren't in my bed, and really I'd have more bites everywhere for fleas.

I finished going about my day.  When I FINALLY got home around midnight, I sent out another text.  My mother, the nursing instructor told me it looked like plant.  My sister suggested chiggers.  I twisted and turned tot he best of my ability in the mirror.  Many new ones.  They were larger, further down, and far more of them.  I PRAYED it wasn't poison ivy.  Hoping for chiggers, because those fuckers you can suffocate, I went in search of the nail polish.

I wasn't able to find my clear polish, just one of my nicer, far more expensive colors.  I spent a good 15 minutes on tiptoe in the bathroom, twisting/turning to see, painting a pretty good swatch of ass and hip.  The aforementioned, new roommate inquired about the smell.  I pulled up my nightgown and flashed her my ass.

Sorry gang, didn't think to get a shot of that.  It stung like a sonuvabitch as I did it, but I stopped itching.  So I was thankful.  Waking up Saturday morning, much of the polish had flaked off.

In this shot you get an idea of just how large an area it was.  You can also see how red and angry my skin was.  The benadryl helped with the itch reaction, but the swelling was still prominent.

Louis kept saying poison ivy.  It was creeping SCARILY close to my vag for comfort, so I kept praying he was wrong.  My mother continued to say plant, but not what.  Personally, I have NO idea how poison ivy could have gotten to me at the bus stop in the middle of north city.  There wasn't anything that tall or obvious.  Having the nail polish on helped me keep my hands out of my pants.  By then, I'd already known that I was going to use this for TNH this week.

Roommate and I discussed using her VERY loud, neon nail polish colors to paint a smiley face on my ass.  LOL  She has a great sense of humor, and I'd wanted to repaint.  Sadly, our gas was out.  So not hot water for a decent scrub.  I decided to leave well enough alone in the hopes of no spreading, and the 2nd alternate theme wasn't realized.

Saw the doc for a regular check-up Monday and had her look at my ass while I was there.  Yes, probably plant.  But healing, no worries.  She asked questions to rule out all kinds of unpleasantness.  She just told me to leave it alone and apply calomine or cortisone as needed.

As of today, though, the main theme of faded is fully realized.  Hallelujah!  It's been fading steadily, and still has a ways to go, but you can see how much it has calmed down.

So, there's my TNH journey for this week, complete with me flashing my ass at all kinds of women.  I truly hope that everyone else had more fun "playing" this week than I did!  Be careful out there!  And don't forget to check out The Naughty Hangout to see who else played!

TNH: Urban, Old-Fashioned

The photos for this week's TNH were taken at the same time as last week's-- sneaking around at my friend's while crashing with her in town.  E lives in a very old, 7 story building.  It's a converted hotel.  I experimented with taking photos of the skyline, parking lot, etc but couldn't figure out how to get a shot other than hanging my leg out the window.

Which I did, but it scared the snot out of me.  I was balancing out an open window WITHOUT a handhold and trying not to drop my smart phone.  I succeeded in getting a shot, but wanted to do something more.

Then it occurred to me, the old elevator!!!

(circa 1920)

This thing is old, slow and LOUD.  You have to heave the outer door open, and the grate when boarded and exiting.  The wooden outer door will try to close on you if you're not careful.  And once inside, you must NOT close the grate.  When you select your floor, the elevator slams the grate shut with a loud clang.  If you shut it manually, the old biddy thinks it has arrived at it's destination.  You'll be stuck until someone else summons it to another level.

(yep, that's solid)

Thankfully I didn't have this experience because my friend warned me of it several times.  It's also very small, nor are the halls/elevator climate controlled.  Being stuck inside could get very ugly, very quickly.

But it might also make a nice, private space for a tryst.  :D

assume the position

And then.......................

Oh yes, right THERE, PLEASE, Sir!

And remember kids, Safety First!  :D

Don't forget to visit The Naughty Hangout to see who else played this week.  And for those of you who can't get enough of my legs, I posted some extra shots 'specially for you over on Tumblr

:-*

TNH: The Maiden Voyage

For my very first TNH I wracked my brain. I had lots of ideas, but no good way to execute them on my own. Not to mention the risk of arrest. Even at midnight. My summer home is rural, but not THAT rural.

Staying with a friend in town this week, mulling over options, an idea hit me. An obvious contrast!

This is my friend's bed. Notice the blue sheet above the traditionally floral box springs? I thought it would work well.  It's only one theme, and an alternate one at that. But I'm the new girl, so I'm hoping you'll be nice  ;)

I will also mention that my friend's apartment is a studio. So I was quietly setting up and taking shots in various stages of undress with her sleeping scant feet from me in the easy chair!  So that's your extra bit of TMI titillation for the day >:)

I twisted and turned and did my best to prop and position my smart phone. This is a LOT harder than you all make it look. I.was hoping to get the shots well aligned for a rollover, but sadly it wasn't meant to be this week.

The final result:

I did it. Rather proud of myself for popping my TNH cherry and joining our naughty little group. Perhaps in time I'll graduate to rollovers. After all, your first time is always the worst ;)