Tuesday, October 23, 2012

TMI Tuesday-- Then and Now

This week's TMI comes from an anonymous contributor:

1.  What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 17-year old you?
     I really have no idea how to answer this one.  Sex was NOT on my mind in high school.  I was pretty focused on getting through high school and on to the next phase of my life.  I didn't date, and having sex didn't cross my mind.  I didn't want to get pregnant or catch and STD.  The AIDS scare of the 80s made a lasting impression on me.  I probably realized that pre-marital sex would happen, but not until I was older.  I've always been blessed with the wisdom to understand the difference between love and sex.

2.  What one thing might shock the younger you?

   I think the 17-year-old me would be surprised that I'm still unpartnered.  About my junior year in high school, goofy me decided that 28 would be a about a good time to get married.  My reasoning-- by then I'd be done with my higher education (at least a Master's) and be well-established in my career.  Or at least on the right track to being established.  With those two goals under my belt, I could start seriously looking for a spouse.  I reasoned I'd start looking around 26 and be married about 28.
     Yes, HUGE nerd who over thinks everything.  Little did I know the course my life would take.  Never in my WILDEST dreams did I anticipate being in my early 30s without degree, settled career, or mate.  Of course, I didn't plan on losing most of my 20s to disease and fighting my way towards recovery.

3.  What part of the younger you're (not necessarily at age 17) sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia.

     I didn't HAVE a sex life until my early 30s.  Well, that's not exactly true, but it's close enough.  I DO miss having the figure of my late teens and early 20s.  I actually FELT attractive in those days.  I do miss having friends to cuddle with/against.  And while I will NEVER go back to long-hair (too much work), there are things I could do with it to get attention from across a crowded room.  That was always fun.  :D

4.  Is there anything in the younger you's sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled.
     Man, these questions are JUST not my week.  I'm still just starting to bloom sexually.  My younger self didn't have a lot of sexual ambitions or fantasies.  There are plenty of ambitions/fantasies that have cropped up in the last few years that need fulfilment.  All in good time, ojala.

Bonus: give you 17-year-old self a piece of sexual advice.
1.  wear bras more often. yes, you dislike them. but as you get older your girls will than you. as will your self-esteem
2.  figure out how to get a properly fitted bra, and always have them. you'll look a lot better, and your clothes will fit better
3.  start masturbating once you leave home and don't have to worry about being around family. don't be embarrassed or have other negative emotions about it.  it's natural and healthy.  it will help you open up more to a partner, and at a younger age.  and you need to know how your body works if you want to enjoy yourself with a partner.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Monday, October 22, 2012

TMI Flashback: April 5, 2011

So here's me killing time, procrastinating, and catching up with the TMI universe.  These TMI questions originally come from April 5, 2011, and were submitted to the community by Hand in My Pants and Other Lustful Desires.  I'm not answering all the questions since some have been discussed at other times.  Plus I just don't feel like answering all of them.  ;)  Such is my hot and cold nature.  :-*

1. Do you like to be called a slut? (yes, this can pertain to men as well)

absolutely NOT.  I don't mind some derogatory epithets when applied jokingly by VERY specific fremily members, but I cannot imagine ANY context in which I would appreciate being called a slut

2. What is your definition of a real man or woman?
For this, I have to point to a quote pic that's making the rounds on the internet: "A real woman can do it by herself, but a real man won't let her."  This goes for all genders and sexes as far as I'm concerned.  Being whole by yourself is important.  Being able to get through it by yourself (as much as you are able) is also important.  But having people in your life who won't LET you go it alone, is essential.  If your partner doesn't perform that vital, primary function for you... PUTTING a foot down and 'making' you accept help, or do what is best for you on occasion..... Then you can do better.  And should.
     THAT is the crux of what I seek.  Someone who reminds me of my worth and supports me.  Who encourages me to do it for myself, helps me recognize that I have the strength within me.  But who assists me when I need it, insists when I'm being stubborn, and OFFERS when I DON'T need it. Just because I'm smart, talented, and competent does NOT mean I don't want someone to help me on occasion.
     One friend, no longer in my life, will always have a special place in my heart.  He was the first person to recognize that need within me, though he may not have recognized what he did at the time.  We were at work one night, and I was struggling to hold onto my bundle and get the door open.  He asked me, "Do you need some help"  And I said no.  He asked, "Do you want some help?", and I stopped full in my tracks.  I really don't think anyone had ever asked me that before.  I set my bundle down, took a deep breath, and said "yes, please".
     I'm not very good at asking for help, never have been.  And even WORSE at thanking people graciously when they help me out of a bind.  Oftentimes I want help so badly, I don't realize that it's still within my power to succeed on my own.  IE--During times of extreme stress it's all I can do to get out of bed and go about my regular business because I get so tired and overwhelmed emotionally.  But I sally forth because that's what I do; in some ways it's all I know.  Failure isn't an option, but yet I forget that I CAN succeed.
     So a real man?  He won't let me do it by myself all the time.  And he'll build me up enough that I don't forget my own strength.

5. Would you rather be the boss in charge or the boss' right hand man/woman?
boy is this a hard Q for me to answer.  I know what it is to be the "boss" in many areas of my life, sometimes nonstop.  Leadership is hard, often thankless, and very, very lonely.  I like to be in charge when I know what I'm doing.  Now that I'm an adult it's easier for me to let others lead the way.  Less fear, more experience, and a greater ability to trust.  The freedom to follow orders instead of issue them can be liberating.  I suppose it must depend on the situation.  I've had great 'lieutenants' when I've been the boss.  I know I wouldn't have managed without them.  So I think I know how to be a good lieutenant.  I also know how to be a good aunt, sister, and friend.  There are certainly days when I don't want to be responsible for my own choices and have someone else tell me what to do, and I'll wager I'm not the only adult who feels that way.
     So, I suppose, I'd like to be in a group or situation where we take turns leading and supporting/following.  In other words, a flexible, team-oriented career and a large, loving, healthy extended family.  Not too much to ask for, right?  ;)

7. What sexual act would you never do again?
I had sex a few times on a full sized air mattress back when I first became sexually active.  Really not easy, or comfortable.  The doggie style was pretty much an unmitigated disaster.  The floor may be uncomfortable, but it's more reliable.  I'm sleeping on that same air mattress right now, actually, until I can afford to buy a new bed.  It has a bit of a slow leak, but not bad.  I put more air in it every few days.  I have to wonder if the abuse it took over that weekend years ago contributes to the leak. ;)

9. Have you ever wondered how fucking feels to the opposite sex?

I have, actually.  Some male friends have tried to explain what it feels like to have an erection, but there really aren't enough words.  If I were to have a penis for a day, I'd definitely do some experimenting.

10. Do you remember the first time you heard the term clit, what was your impression?
No, I really don't.  BUT I can tell you a fun story.  Back in college, fall 2000, I was in a policy debate class.  The affirmative resolution focused upon US aid to sub-Saharan Africa.  Female genital mutilation/surgery was a topic of research and discussion.  My teacher, Cate, powerful feminist and true Amazon, challenged one man in the class that day.  I don't know if he was having difficulty discussing the topic, or trying to be PC, or what.  He couldn't get the words out.  Trying to understand his 'problem', Cate said to him point blank: "What, you can't say clit?"  The whole class erupted into gales of laughter.  Interestingly, I don't remember his reaction.  But that incident made an impression.

11. What is the first thing you ever masturbated to or with?
Just a basic vibrator.  The slim, phallus shaped variety.  Nothing too fancy.

12. Ladies and gents does Male on Male sex turn you on?  Ladies, would you enjoy seeing your husband or boyfriend touch, stroke, such another man in your presence?
Actually it does to an extent.  Sometimes I like to hop onto youporn and check out the gay section.  Not for a long time, just enough to get myself off and be done.  Watching a man fuck another man, IDK what it is about it exactly.  Certainly there's the power thing.  Women are 'expected' to do and accept so much sexually.  Watching one man being fucked by another satisfies some sense of justice?  No idea.  And as to having my partner with another man, I like the idea of another man being forced to fellate him, or accept my mate's cock up his ass.  The idea of someone else actually enjoying my mate's touch??? hmmmm, no.  I think I prefer to be the only one enjoying that.  Something to think about if/when I partner.  I DO very much like the idea of topping a submissive male with my mate.  Or him watching me do it.  I'm only just starting to explore my Dominant nature, though.  So I've really no idea.

hope you enjoyed reading my dirty secrets ;)  please, cum and join us playing TMI Tuesday on Worpress!  It's not hard.  Copy, paste, fill-in and share!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

TMI Tuesday: Can we JUST be friends?

This week's TMI questions come from Erotic Adventures in Brisneyland.

Can we JUST be friends?

1.  Have you ever had a friendship with a someone where you secretly (or not so secretly) desired them?
     Yes, more than once.  And I'm pretty sure it wasn't a secret.  I'm not the most sophisticated in these matters.  In one instance the male and I drove pretty much ALL of our mutual friends and acquaintances NUTS tap dancing around our attraction.  We both worked third shift and so spent pretty much all our spare time together.  Nothing ever happened, and we were very comfortable with each other.  Thankfully I don't desire anyone in my life right now.  Find attractive, yes.  Does it interfere? No.
    That's not to say that IF given the opportunity I wouldn't SERIOUSLY consider turning myself into NV's sex slave for an indeterminate amount of time.  ;)  I have two very good friendships with people right now and we've had chemistry in recent history, but that phase seems to have passed.  One I've known for 20 years, the other less than one [year].  I value my friendships with them more than a possible tryst.  
     But to that end I WILL say:

2.  Are you prone to jealousy, suspicion or insecurity when your partner spends time with an attractive close friend without you?  Why?
     Being that I've never really been partnered, I'm unable to answer this question.  I HOPE the answer would be no.  If I'm to be involved in any type of semi-serious relationship with someone, I would have to trust him.  If I didn't then it's a problem on many levels.  And considering that several of my oldest, deepest connections have been with males and some of those people are still in my life.....  Unlike Harry Burns I DO believe that men and women (attractive, unattached heterosexual people) are capable of being friends without sex getting in the way.  Good friends.  And come on, what do gay people do?  Only have close friendships with people of the OPPOSITE gender?  Grow up!
If my partner doesn't trust me, it's a problem.  If I don't trust him, it's a problem.  If one of us doesn't trust the other's FRIEND, well that's a whole other can of worms and something that needs to be discussed.  I do not WANT to be everyone and everything to someone I'm dating/fucking, whatever.  It's exhausting and unhealthy.  I need my space and downtime.  I want and EXPECT the same for anyone I might date.
     Sure I get insecure in my relationships (all types), but that's ME and MY issues.  And frankly, nothing settles me down faster and better than venting it out of my system.  Meaning-- going over it ad nauseaum with various friends.  Some male, some female.  I rotate them depending on what I need, how busy everyone is, and if I've been leaning too heavily upon one person or another.  It may seem like I'm fixating unhealthily, but that's how I work through the fear and frustration.  (if it DOES hit the unhealthy stage, I do have people keeping an eye on me who'll let me know)  Putting it on the back burner emotionally tends to worsen how I feel and lengthen "recovery" time.  Through this method I get to be heard, validated, and sometimes suggestions are given. 
     Though I will say here GUYS that if I'm venting about something troublesome, I want the validation not the problem solving.  When I'm ready for that step, I'll ask.  If I'm fighting your suggestions then I'm not there yet.  When the big girl panties come on, you'll know.

3.  H
as a previously platonic friendship ever bloomed into a sexual relationship?
     Not quite.  My first lover and I alternately acknowledged and ignored our attraction for almost 2 years.  He was in relationships near non-stop during that time.  We were good friends and played the role of placeholder for each other quite a bit.  His partners were jealous of ME, but that's because he told me his good friend far more than he told them.  Emotional affair should have been his middle name those days.  Now I know better.  We fooled around but only finally took the next step when he'd been single for awhile.  You may or may not define what we had as technically platonic.  I don't.  As for the other possibility, it was pretty much a one night stand.  I've only seen him once since that and spoken to him a handful of times.  None of which has occurred in the last year.  That's the individual mentioned in number 1 from last week.  EEK!

4.  Have you ever remained close friends with an ex-lover?
     Donkey Boy (nickname for first lover, private joke) and I were very close, and then not.  I moved out of state four years ago, and we've continued on with our lives.  I rarely hear from him or anyone in his family.  At first it made me sad, but for the most part I've let it go.  I enjoyed being part of his fremily, and I miss it.  However, that clan is VERY screwed up on many levels at this point and I'm sure it's healthier for me to have that separation.  I send birthday and Christmas cards, see FB updates.  He got married last weekend, and I had to find out about THAT via FB which pissed me off.  A good mutual friend married them (I'm aunt to the clergy's children) so not hearing about it ......  I won't go there.  Still processing.  But if Donkey Boy were to pick up the phone and call, ours is a friendship that we can talk as if it had only been 2 days instead of almost 2 years since our last conversation.  It's that type of thing.  That I know where he is and is doing well I count as a positive.  My other lovers..... NOT so much.

:  Have you ever developed feelings for a "friend with benefits"?  How did it develop, unfold, resolve?
     I've only had one 'relationship' that I would classify a "friend with benefits" and that's stretching it.  We weren't friends.  We met via an online network aimed at casual sex, spent some time together, and deliberately became fuck-buddies.  That's all it was MEANT to be.  I enjoyed his company for a time, and as his behavior changed I enjoyed it less so.  HE was developing if not feelings than the transparent want for something less casual.  Before I could address it to either re-establish terms or walk away he crossed some MAJOR MAJOR lines.  Some of which may or may not be illegal depending upon the state, statutes, and jury.  I have not seen, heard, or spoken to him since mid October 2010 and I do not wish to.  I still have his contact information in my email account and cell-phone JUST in case he should try to reach me.  I want to know so that I can ignore, block, etc as necessary.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

TMI extra-- penis edition

These questions come from an old TMI Tuesday I found on The Infidelity Chronicles.  They looked liked fun, so here goes!!!

What's more important, length or width?
If I can't have both..... I actually am not sure how to answer.  The length and skill to hit certain points are DIVINE.  I've only had one that was nice in both length and girth, and he was delightful in MANY ways.  The type of man who is all hard body from daily manual labor, no time in the gym at all (fans self).  I've had a few that were disappointing, but the men themselves were near my height and wiry.  So they were proportionate.  So if I have to choose--probably girth, an average penis with decent girth.

Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?
Possibly the one mentioned above.  My worry was pretty evident once I got a good look at him.  He was careful with me, which was nice.  Sometimes he would change his position/technique and say 'average guy size'.  Pretty funny.  I would have enjoyed more time with him had things been possible.  And he hadn't been asking me to send him explicit photos over my cell phone.

Seen a teenie weenie?
Well, yes, I have nephews.  ;)

Weirdest looking penis you've seen?
In my professional capacity I've seen some interesting ones.  And by professional capacity I mean as a direct care provider to people with special needs.  So cut it out.  ;)

Any penis deal breakers?
Filth and smell will do it.  Never been with an uncircumcised male, and not sure I care to.  I don't care how careful you are about cleanliness.....

Best place to put a penis?
Deep inside me if the mood, and the MAN, is right.  ;)

Best all-around penis you've had your hands on?
The one mentioned in the first question.  Gorgeous man, fabulous cock.  There's a very delicious-looking one I'd love to truly get my hands on, as opposed to just through his jeans.  Maybe next life time ;)

If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?

Honestly, I'd probably spend a decent amount of time masturbating.  A good way to help me understand the male of the species.  I'd get up and walk around and sit down suddenly a few times, try to get some empathy on that front.  Or is it balls you guys have to be more careful of in that aspect?  I wouldn't go out and get laid, unless maybe I was in a relationship and my partner(s) wanted me to fuck him/her/them.  Wouldn't mind getting a blow job though to see what it's like.  I'd be far less concerned about picking up an STD from a pro if I chose to go that route.  And I'd be sure take time to learn how to hit the bowl correctly without making a mess.  Then any male I know wouldn't be able to talk back about that.  Hit the damn target.  And if not, CLEAN IT THE FUCK UP!

sorry, but boys (especially my brothers) are GROSS sometimes!!!!

Hope y'all had fun!!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

a lawyer joke ;)

This one is new to me, actually.

Q: why do lawyers wear turtlenecks?

A: to hide the circumcision scars.

Happy Friday!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Random TMI

Our friends over at Wordpress have given us a random TMI this week.  So here goes:

1. Tell us about your sluttiest act ever.
      Probably the one act that I'm TRULY embarrassed over, and don't like admitting to friends.  Though they will here it eventually since they hear everything else!  I was visiting friends a few years ago. Labor Day Weekend to be precise.  Many many adults crammed into that house for various reasons-- unemployment, home from deployment, etc.  A male friend and I got drunk, proceeded to fool around, and then start having SEX not only IN the room with his older brother (whose bedroom he was sharing at the time) but ON THE DOUBLE BED while said brother was sleeping.  Brother woke up, and didn't leave.  And I asked in my drunken stage whisper IF he was leaving.  --headslap--
      It bears mentioning that I had already slept with one other brother in the family regularly, and everyone knew it.  REALLY not my finest moment.

2.  Have you ever played air guitar .... naked?
      No and No.  Making #3 N/A

4.  Are you good in bed, why?
      No, I'm probably not very good in bed.  I hog covers and like to stretch out a bit.  Plus I'm sometimes very restless.  oh wait, you meant in BED bed.  Sorry, I'm not the one to ask.  :)

5.  What FEELS sexy to you tactile-wise (meaning touch, not sight or taste)
      Hmmm.  I like wrapping myself up in a sheet and nothing but a sheet while lounging around the house.  I like the feel of clean linens on a freshly made bed against my clean skin and recently shaved legs.  I appreciate good hand strength in men, whether they are shaking my hand, holding my hand, or doing something to me with said strong hands.  I love having my hair played with and stroked.  I REALLY love having my hair pulled just 'so' by a partner.  I like having my face touched and stroked, and prefer very light touches on my body during intimacy.  Unless we've really gotten going.  Then a more pronounced tactile presence is fine.  I appreciate the physical strength and emotional connection of being held/hugged from behind by my partner.  Someone a good 8 inches taller than me is preferred.  The height difference makes me feel feminine, petite, and safe. 7-10 inches taller is my happy zone.  too much taller get difficult.
      I love the feel of a bare set of balls.  Cleanly shaved.  Only learned recently how nice those feel (and look).  I like the satiny feel of a cock, and the temperature and tactile difference when a bead or two of precum emerges.  I like the feel of body strength under my hands.  Be it strong arms, chest, legs.  Good muscle tone is a turn on.  You can have padding, so long as I can feel good muscles underneath.  Shoulders, though.  Shoulders, arms, and hands......  (fans self)  I like the feel of just the right amount of male chest hair against my bare chest, or between my fingers.  I like the feeling of skin under my fingers and nails as I grip and pull.  I ADORE having a good head of hair to run my fingers through-- and hold on to!!!!-- during sex.
      I like feeling strength under and around me.  Whether I'm being supported physically if I'm weak, held in place during sex, or just being held.  Strength is sexy.  Again, it makes me feel more feminine and safe.  Particularly safe.  It's nice to know that someone else can help or handle things.  I'm pretty strong for a woman and know how much dead weight I can lift from the ground.  (round about 100lbs)  If I can't carry something, knowing someone else can is reassuring.

BONUS:  Write a 6-word autobiography.
      The auto-biography part is hard, so I'll do a 6 word description
  • intelligent
  • insecure
  • loving
  • loyal
  • eccentric
  • eclectic soul, who is JUST a little anal in some regards ;) Note how the list is organized  ;)

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

TMI: You Wear It Well

This week's TMI Tuesday comes to us courtesy of the lovely Gemma Jones, and the topic is clothes.

1. What is your most favorite thing to wear in your closet at this moment?
     Well, I've barely started to unpack so in terms of what is IN my closet... not so much.  I don't have any particular favorite piece of clothing right now.  What I AM loving about where I'm living right now and this particular roommate is that we both have a clothing casual/optional mentality.  Me more than her it would seem, but then I'm still crashing on the floor in the living room and her bedroom is completely set up.  But by clothing casual, I mean that I can and do walk around half dressed or completely undressed.  It's comfy and convenient and I'm LOVING having the freedom to do it.

2.  What is the one item of clothing that you have seen on one of your friends / workmates that you would steal for yourself if you had the chance?
     Well, my sister/best friend had something absolutely GORGEOUS this spring that I coveted.  I'd never seen it before and was helping her pack to move.  I think it may have been new.  I don't know what it was but the look in my eyes was pretty clear; she told me I couldn't have it.  ;)  A classmate had on a pretty great pair of boots last week.  But I know they wouldn't have fit, and I don't have the clothes to go with them.

3.  What is the one thing that your partner wears that never fails to turn you on?
     Well, remember that I am sans partner.  BUT a few men in my life wore boxer briefs, and I really like that look.  Wouldn't say it always turns me on, though.  I have a weakness for a handsome man in a well fitting suit.  Or a dress shirt partially unbuttoned.  Or that dress shirt unbuttoned under a nice jacket (no tie). Dress pants or khakis; NOT the chic, casual look over jeans.  Just the "standard" dress shirt, slacks and tie seen at weddings and the like doesn't really do it for me as much.  Although is the man in question NEVER dresses up, it does have an impact.
     One colleague I find particularly delicious is almost always commando.  I don't really notice it anymore, since it's his normal choice.  But when I first found out, knowing about it REALLY turned me on.  He's rather well endowed, and he's more comfortable in a pair of baggy jeans.  His area of the building is technically more casual than my department, although I can get away with school attire on occasion if I need to.  I also like a man in glasses.  Thankfully with the choices available, we're all usually able to find a set that suits us.

4. What is the one thing you wear when you want to attract the attention of your partner or others?
     Actually, this has very little to do with clothes, and more about me doing something with my hair and putting on some make-up.  I may dress a little nicer, or may wear something that's kinda every day and add a pair of earrings plus the hair/make-up.  I'm a VERY wash 'n go kinda gal.  Not grungy, but often casual or weekend wear.  You know, jeans with the zipped sweatshirt over it in cooler weather.  Business casual is generally the most dressed up I get these days.  Sometimes for a date I'll wear a pair of nicer clogs or boots with a higher heel.  Or if I really feel the need to look nice. A 2.5 inch heel instead of the 1inch found on most of my 'dressier' footwear.  Don't do that as much anymore, though.  The neural damage I have from car accidents has made me clumsy.  I trip a lot and am always twisting my ankles.  They aren't very strong these days.
     I do a lot with accessories when I want to dress up.  I have some very nice earrings, rings and necklaces.  Mostly silver and semi-precious stones.  And then I have things that may not "look" like much, but me actually putting something on can be a noticeable change.  Many different sandals in summer, and a few choices for cooler weather when my budget permits.  I tend to buy footwear that lasts and that fits well.  Many scarves and bandannas.  With those I get to express my personality.  When my hair was long, it was scarves around my hair.  I still have them and when dressing nicely those will now go around my neck.  All about blending the solid color with the pattern in the accessory or vice versa.  ;)  I actually bought most of the scarves my freshman year of college.  Had surgery and wanted to cover the neck scars, suture site, etc. 
     These days for convenience and fun it's bandannas.  I wear a LOT of those.  Even had a Deaf woman ask me this spring if I was losing my hair because she had never seen me without one.  I'll wear a very bright solid top with a fun bandanna with neat colors or patters.  I'm VERY liberal and have quite a hippie streak in me personality wise.  Which makes it funny that I mostly tend/chose to dress very conservatively.  The bandannas are a newer aspect of my wardrobe; last two to three years.  Started as a precautionary/safety measure for work, and quickly became a habit.  Since I hate having my hair in my face, it serves a function there.  And I can also stick writing utensils in there like I used to in my braids/ponytails in high school.  As I've mentioned in other blogs, my daily ablutions need to be easy and fast, so that means solids for mixing and matching.  Again with the 'conservative' dressing.  I wear very few prints.  Haven't worn many for a long time, like junior high long time.  Things HAVE to be multi-use.  I have two fun hat and scarf sets for cooler weather, and 6? lovely capes; a crushed, black velvet cape/wrap; a patterned, crushed, black velvet shoulder shrug; a genuine Mexican wool poncho for daily wear; a very classy winter wool coat AND an opera coat that almost never get worn.  Maybe I'll pull out the capes for indoor layering this winter over nicer tops/pants.  And the poncho.  I've always loved it.
     It's nice to have one or two neat pieces for special occasions, but that's currently outside my budget.  And I HATE clothes shopping because of my size.  It's difficult and depressing.  Plus since I'm losing weight (stabilized for now but that will change soon), I don't want to shop for clothes.  I'd rather have a fun pair of hounds-tooth, plaid or pinstripe slacks that can be paired with multiple blouses.  When I DO have the extra money, and a stable size, I try to buy one or two quality, classic pieces per year.  They last forever and never go out of style.  I have some incredibly BEAUTIFUL things in my wardrobe that don't currently fit.  I'm working on that.  REALLY REALLY want to get back down to a size 14 for the absolutely GORGEOUS suits I have.  Eventually I will need suits again in the professional world, and for when I start officiating at handfastings / naming ceremonies again.
     Guess I didn't really answer the question.  oh well.  :D

5. When you want to feel sexy, what do you wear and why?
     For awhile I would wear one of three pairs of boy shorts (in same set) that I own.  One plain yellow, 2 mostly white with patterns including the same tone of yellow.  I bought a few sets for post laser hair removal treatments per my cousin's suggestion.  Made the day or two after less unpleasant.  Not really keen on boy shorts in terms of how they fit/feel.  I want to BE and FEEL covered.  So, yeah, I'm a granny panties gal.  --wince--  Not sexy, I know.  I make it up to myself by getting different colors and patterns if said patterns aren't too heinous.  I'll opt for bright colors if in the same price range, otherwise it's neutrals and pastels.
   I did find a set of three (boy shorts) I REALLY liked color/pattern wise, and they're my favorite undies.  I would wear them for the man I sexted with and played the underwear game with.  Pretty sure I didn't share that with him.  That they were my favs or that I would wear them for him or if I knew I would be seeing him outside of work.  Haven't put them on in some time.  That ship has sailed. 
     I do not have TIME to feel sexy or think about sex right now.  Barely enough time to blow my nose.  The fact that my libido is coming back is kind of a relief.  It means my stress level has dropped and I'm feeling more secure.  But truly, if I'm thinking about feeling sexy, and in the mood to be sexy, I wear nothing at all.  I wrap myself up in an extra flat sheet when home alone, and just lounge around.  It feels decadent and sensual and fun.  I may watch tv, or read a dirty book, or if really fortunate sext/IM/flirt with a friend.  More often than not I sit around for a bit in the quiet, indulge in some light self-touch and self-pleasure, and then take a nice nap while still in the sensual haze I have created for myself.  I don't truly 'masturbate' or even shoot for orgasm.  It's about a restful, quiet, tactile time.  And the naps are usually delightfully rich with whatever my heart most needs at the time.

6. If you had unlimited funds but could only shop for one type of clothing (shoes, lingerie, fetish, etc) what would it be?
     I'm gonna bend the rules a bit here.  HEHE.  In terms of "shopping" I would have most of my clothes made for me.  I would get my choice of fabrics, colors, styles.  I could look at magazines and patterns to get an idea what I'd like. And someone who knows her business could help me really dress for my body type.  Accentuate this, hide that.  Instead of endlessly searching the racks, I would have brief fittings.  I'm also talking knit/crocheted pieces for hats, sweaters, etc.  I know what I like color wise, and what looks good on me color wise.  Often what I like or is flattering is NOT in style.  Or my size, assuming it even EXISTS.  Yay.  Or it's my size but doesn't fit correctly because of how patterns aren't sized correctly through the shoulders when machines crank out tops.  I would look good, feel good, et al.  I'm happy that solids are back in again this fall, and some of the colors we RARELY see are in their 2nd and 3rd go round.  Like rose brown and cranberry.  Those really flatter me.  With luck I can buy a nice piece or two that I can still use a few years from now.
     PLUS when you have someone sewing for you, it's much easier to get the trifecta of comfort, classy, and convenient!  :D

BONUS: Tell us about your favorite scenario, real or fantasy, that involves some kind of clothing or fetish wear?
     uhhhh, never thought about it from that perspective?  The idea of being naked or mostly naked while a partner spanks me is something I'd like to do.  Already experienced it once.  Meaning my ass was bare and he was dressed.  True, you don't have to have your pants down to be spanked, yadda yadda.  I have a few things I suppose I mentally fantasize about and partial clothing is part of the set-up.  But it's not fetish wear, and I don't know if I'd considered it a fantasy until just now mulling over the bonus question.  More of a scenario I pull out from time to time when in a semi-meditative state.  It's a healing 'scene' for me.

     And it's private.

     I've got enough princess in me, though, to love the idea of being really dressed up for dinner or dancing, with the man all decked out in a wonderful suit.  And the natural 'romantic' things would run their course.  Then there's the classic wrapped together in nothing but a blanket on the front porch in the woods type thing.  So I guess I DO have the fantasies, but haven't considered them from this viewpoint.  My fantasy life is pretty tame, and very subdued, though, when it comes to things I would truly like to DO.

So, there you have it.  Different from everyone else, per usual.  ;)  Who wants to be the same, anyway??  Chalk it up to how I think, and my lack of experience compared to many of our other participants.  Parts of it do look rather dull and overly practical as I edit.  Ah well.  Hope you enjoyed reading.

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