Tuesday, September 25, 2012

TMI Tuesday: Sept 25, 2012--- Celebrity Sex-A-Thon

1. Who is your closest celebrity look-alike? And, who do you think is sexier, you or the celeb?
      When I was younger and wore my hair longer, I was told I resembled Teri Garr.  That may in part be how I was dressed.  Wide legged pants, sports coat (both light tan) and a cream blouse.  And don't forget the sunglasses.  I was outside and it was really bright.  Can you name the time period based on my clothing description?  ;)

2. Who is the hottest male AND female celebrity you can think of? And, if the opportunity presented itself would you have sex with them?

      uhhhhhh well I think Anne Hathaway, Rose Byrne, and Eva Green are all lovely.  For non-Caucasian ladies-- Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Michele Yeoh and Zoe Saldana.  Men-- JOHNNY DEPP, Eric Bana, Karl Urban, Antonio Banderas, Michael Shanks and Michael Weatherly (yes, they look very much alike), a younger Mark Harmon, Harrison Ford, Dustin Nguyan, Cameron Daddo.  So, there's a list off the top of my head who I find very attractive and/or have fantasized about.

3. What celebrity do you fantasize about, but wouldn’t admit it to your friends?

       N/A.  My friends are privy to most aspects of my life.  It's people that we BOTH know when I'm hesitant to tell them.

4. Have you ever watched a leaked celebrity sex tape? Who was it or were they and what did you think? What would you have done differently if you were in the video with them?

      No.  I've occasionally tried to find them online out of sheer curiosity, but I refuse to pay for them.  I'd like to know what everyone is talking about, but not THAT much.  Plus some things should be private.  And you never know what your computer can pick up on sites like that.

5. If you are in a relationship, is there anyone your partner knows that you have the ‘hots’ for and they give you the okay to be intimate with? Who would be there’s?

      This kinda gets into a discussion of polyamory, polyfidelity, ethicall non-monogamy, and swinging.  So, the most SIMPLE answer I can give based on the question, it would be highly situational.  But my partner would have to be involved, if nothing else than as a spectator.  I would want utter transparency.
      Being that I am not currently in a relationship, I can't begin to guess who someone else might fantasize about.

6. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose and what would you give them for dessert?

      Well, if we're talking DEAD individuals I could give you a loooong list.  But for now...... I'd have to say my very good friend, Kassie.  She's lived on the West Coast now for 6 1/2 years, and I haven't seen her since she moved.  I'd very much like to see her.  As for dessert, it would need to be high in protein, low in gluten, and carefully made to avoid certain chemicals and dyes.  She has quite a few food sensitivities.  Sorry to disappoint y'all.  ;)

: If you were offered the million dollar indecent proposal, what would your answer be and why?

      Again, this would be HIGHLY situational.  Do my partner and I need the money, REALLY need the money, or would just like to have the money?  Am I attracted to this person, or at least don't find him/her off-putting?  What types of sexual acts would be involved?  I certainly have my preferences and limits.  And can my partner watch?  If not IN the room, than via live action video or something.  How might this impact our relationship?  I think the movie did an EXCELLENT job portraying possible negative fall-out.
      But if we REALLY needed the money, then I just don't know.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

TMI Tuesday: Strip for me, I'll strip for you

For this week's TMI, many of them don't apply to me one way or the other.  So you won't get much to read I'm afraid.  Or will you?  ;)

1. Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?
Danced naked, no.  Walked around naked, yes.  And I don't mean in front of my parents as a toddler.  I'm very clothing casual and clothing optional in my own home and the homes of certain friends.  My new roommate and I kinda move around naked as getting undresses, etc.  We're both girls after all.  I have also WORSHIPPED naked.  Standing in a ritual circle with others.  It's rare, but it does happen on occasion.

2. Have you been to a strip club? Was it what you expected?

Not been to a strip club.  Went to ladies night at a local bar in rural Missouri for a bachelorette party eons ago.  There were some amateur-ish strippers there.  Kinda fun.  It was also kinda awkward and embarrassing.  I was only 19 at the time.

3. Have you ever been to an “amateur night” at a strip club?

See number 2.

4. Do you think strip clubs are exploitative or are they misunderstood as simple adult entertainment venues?

This would be an entire blog in and of itself, so for now I'm tabling the question.

5. Would you ever consider stripping to pay for college or other expenses?

I did consider it in my younger days, but not very seriously.

6. Have you ever given your partner a private dance?

Not really.  I've undressed, sure.  But not so much as a part of foreplay or anything.  I'd be happy to give it a try though.

7. Would you ever perform a lap dance for a complete stranger?

If the money was good enough, yes.  But there would have to be a guarantee that NO photographic or video evidence was ever produced.  Not having anyone involved know me would be all the better.

8. Showgirls, Strip Tease, Magic Mike … What is the sexy Hollywood stripper scene you have ever YouTubed?

Showgirls was a horrible movie, and that's BEFORE you take the rape scene into consideration.  Burlesque had some fun bits.  Never seen Strip Tease, but have seen Flashdance and Gypsy a few times.  Magic Mike is on my list to see.

Do you have a stripper fantasy, that given the chance of not being found out, you would turn into a reality?
Not so much.  Though I have girlfriends who have taken pole dancing classes for fun/exercise.  I think that might be very enjoyable.

Pretty tame and short this week.  Hope I didn't disappoint!  ;)

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

TMI Tuesday: the big "O"

This week’s theme “Orgasms” and the questions are brought to you by Naughty Tashamber.

The BIG "O"
1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.

      I want to say I was about 22.  A girlfriend of mine recognizing my sensual life was lacking, and probably thinking I was repressed, bought me my first vibrator and encouraged me to use it.  It took me awhile to feel courageous enough to use it to actual orgasm.  The sensations and loss of control scared me. Still does sometimes.  I will also pull back sometimes.  Maybe I'm getting to the point where it's too difficult to be quite and others are home.  Oftentimes I JUST don't want to clean up the mess.  With a really good orgasm I ALWAYS ejaculate, and always being over the toilet or in the tub/shower can be uncomfortable.  I'll go long enough to take the edge off and feel good, but I wouldn't call it a true orgasm.
      She helped me in many ways by talking with me and helping me ease out of the box of sex not able to be about fun between two people.  We attended the Vagina Monologues with another friend in Chicago of 2000.  Back when Eve Ensler herself was still performing.  The sensations and loss of control scared me.  Still do sometimes.  Even letting go with someone I mostly trust can be difficult.  I can safely say that I have only met ONE man that I would feel truly emotionally and physically safe enough to let go on those levels.  Sadly, he is not available.  He is a dear friend (the one out of state)and we have wonderful flirt sessions and occasional naughty chats. 
      And I have met a woman with whom I felt that level of trust and attraction.  That's a first for me.  I'm definitely flexible, but mostly straight.  I offended her badly, and it's not to be.  (see Regrets #2 and #3).  For her, I think part of the inherant safety is that she IS a woman.  Far more difficult for a woman to sexually assault another woman than a man to sexually assault a woman. 
      I DO remember the first time I experienced sexual arousal.  I was about six.  A friend of mine and I were playing doctor.  Pretty tamely I might add.  Very sheltered when younger, and a pastor's kid.  She told me she needed a urine sample.  So, I took the plastic container thingy and stuck it in my underpants.  LOL  Somehow I moved JUST right, and it sent quite a shock of pleasure through me.  I tried to repeat the sensation numerous times, all for naught.  :(

2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc).

      hmmmmm.  As I've mentioned before, I have very little experience overall.  But one thing I do REALLY enjoy is very deep, penetrative sex.  Not hard, but very firm and very deep.

3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc).

      I'd really just like to experience good, consisten orgasms with a long-term partner I can trust and who cares about me, and vice versa.  I can cum orally sometimes, I can come vaginally if the penetration is done as described in number 3, and I can often come with a vibrator, dildo, or combination of the two.  Someone who truly makes me lose control, who I can relax with and really let go so that it goes to that next level is something that has been lacking in my sex life.  Good things come to those who wait.  My closest girlfriends are now all FINALLY partnered up and having excellent sex several times a week.  Therefore it must be my turn sometime soon.

4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?
      Quite possibly, but I can't be sure.  I sometimes have incredibly erotic dreams.  I'll also have periods in trance or semi-wakefulness when I find myself dreaming about a partner.  Typically someone I have a good connection with friendship wise and just enough sexual tension to make flirting fun.  I'll be aware of myself moving about and feel rather rested when waking.  It's entirely possible he and I are having sex on the astral plane when that happens.

5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm?

      Using my most powerful vibrator.  I have one of those wands that plug into the wall.  (no batteries, hooray!!!)  It's got two settings, both of which are pretty fast.  One think I like is that I can press it firmly against my pelvis, and the vibrations transmit deep enough to give a nice sensation to labia and clit.  It's relatively quiet, and depending on pressure and location I can really get myself there quickly.  And I can often force myself there if not in the mood but really in need of release. 

6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm?

      I typically do not masturbate weekly.  When I do masturbate, it's usually around 2x/day or 2-3x over a period of 2-3 days.  I will go through periods when I masturbate more regularly.  My sex life, like the rest of me, goes in cycles.  It's part of my disease.  See I'd like to Buy an "O" please.

7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first?

      No.  If I cum, I cum first.  Those are the ones who have made sure I've gotten there.  Many lovers have not gotten me there.  And my first lover (see number 10 for this week), more often than not I told him not to wait for me.  And he'd been celibate for quite a while when we finally had intercoursre, so he didn't tend to last long.  Embarrassing for him, frustrating for me.  I did my best to be nice about it.  I know he felt awful.  It was written in every line of his body.

8 – Can you have multiples?

      Uh, kind of?  I'm not quite sure.  I can get close, and bring myself down, and go back up.  Or I can get really intense, come down or take a short break and get back up.  But I'm honestly not sure if that's more than one orgasm, or just taking more time to build to a more powerful one.  Maybe an experienced lover could help me answer that Q.  I know there's a certain amount of internal spasming/clenching involved that 'signals' orgasm.

9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm?

      Depends on mood, emotionally and physically.  I'd say 5 minutes minimum, but probably closer to 15 on average when going solo.  Keep in mind I'm guessing.  Not sure with a partner.  I'd say 10-20 minutes or longer when sexting.  The friend who accomodated me that way really make sure to build the tension for me, and it's was almost always done via text message.  That can be tricky, and not just mess wise.  Some of the most powerful orgasms I've had since Feb, though, have been sexting with my friend now out of state.  The first time we had a dirty chat was via IM.  He took it so slow and was so incredibly tender setting the scene that I wept.  He went on for probably close to an hour, with a bit of input from me.  He was impressed that I wasn't furiously masturbating.  I told him that I had really needed the sensuality and emotional exchange that night.  He understood.  Bless him.  He has helped me to truly heal, explore, and expand.
      I almost ALWAYS use a vibrator when masturbating.  I really don't have the time or patience to go it the old fashioned way.  I can get there with or without a partner, but they're usually more satisfying on my own.  Sex is a power exchange, and energy exchange, and a form of intimacy.  Once I choose to only share with those whom I truly trust anymore.  I've tried the FB and one-night hook-up, and it leaves me wanting.
      A priestess colleague of mine said something I found very profound this summer.  She said, if you aren't willing/prepared to stand in ritual circle with soneone, do you really want to have sex with them?  Sabbat ritual is one of the most intense forms of power sharing that exists for pagans.  Followed closely by very intense sex when the emotional connection is there.  That has caused me to re-evaluate some things.

10 – Have you ever faked one?

      Yes, with the first true lover I had.  By that I mean the man who relieved me of my virginity. I'd had  oral and played with others, but he was my "first" You can read that in Regrets #1.  I faked it to try to avoid hurting his feelings. More than once I was at a point where I wanted to stop, even though I was enjoying myself. Faking it seemed the easiest way to do it. I faked when we had oral a few times before we had intercourse.  I never faked with intercourse.  Everything was still too new in too many ways.  And looking back, he wasn't as much of a giving lover as he thought he was.  The healer in me required me to put HIM first, and not be selfish enough to take/demand my own pleasure.  I need a lover who ignores that.  Who pushes firmly but gently so that I DO get what I need.  I've had one or two do that.  One far better than another.  He was the one-night-stand I had over Easter 2010. See Getting Off, #4.

No BONUS question.  How disappointing.  Good questions though.  Many thanks to Naughty Tashamber.  Don't forget to visit TMI Tuesday to see who played this week.  And feel free to join us!

Friday, September 7, 2012

Friday Funnies

A potential sub sent me some funny jokes per my orders.  I'm sure there's a good change these might be familiar to you, but I thought I'd post them nonetheless.  Maybe give you a giggle or two.

One day, a mum was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage-S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She showed it to her husband. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?" The dad looked at her and said, "Well whatever you do, don't spank him!"

This guy in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you," she said politely." "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must be rather difficult," the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."

I was in a pub last Saturday night, and drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them blurted out, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?" That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

Have a good weekend!!!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

TNH-- Leisure, Messy, Solitude

I had some great ideas for this week's TNH.  I was fairly certain how to incorporate at least 2, maybe all 3, themes into the same photo.  Alas, this is not to happen.  WAY too much going on and limited computer time.  Hence me being up early this week.

I spent Sunday at the zoo with friends, so there was some leisure.  Got some great photos of several animals in both leisurely and solitary positions.  As to messy......... well zoo, animals....  ;)

Being that my life is extremely messy right now, I'm letting this week's TNH go in the traditional N sense. I take what leisure I can, and would TRULY love to gain some solitude. For about a week undisturbed in my own bed.

But on a happy note, I slept very well last night (Tuesday). This morning I showered and one of my FAVORITE Cosby show episodes was on tv. So I enjoyed some leisure and solitude this morning.

So here it is for YOUR viewing pleasure:

With This Ring, Part 1

With This Ring, Part 2

Happy TNH!  Don't forget to visit The Naughty Hangout to see who else played this week.  And, please, feel free to join us!

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

TMI: Cum, are you a fan?

TMI Tuesday: September 4, 2012
This week's TMI questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of The Late Phoenix.

I can't say as I'm quite sure what he means by some of these questions, different mind and all, nor am I too keen on them.  But I'm playing along anyway to the best of my ability.  We appreciate you submitting questions,
good sir!

Cum, are you a fan?

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing--a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection--of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
      I can't speak for others, but I am NOT an incurable sex addict.  At least not in the vein I think Phoenix means.  I haven't had intercourse or a partner for two full years.  I flirt with girlfriends in a non-threatening way.  I read the occasional trashy novel, and masturbate when I need to.  Possibly less than I should.  I have some sex toys and that can help me 'force' myself to orgasm.  Arousal and orgasm are both difficult for me, and you can read more about that here.
      But if we're talking outlets, probably sexting with my friend now out of state.  We did a LOT of that the first 6 months of this year.  He's the person I spoke of in my TMI Throwback earlier this August.  Thanks to him I got to experiment with spanking. which I apparently really enjoy.  We no longer sext out of respect for his new partner, but still have some pretty fabulous double entendre play when in the mood.  (word nerds, unite!)  We also exchange naughty jokes and joke pics.
      I've never had a very active, or very good, sex life.  So not knowing what I'm missing makes it easier to get through horny times.

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much that you worried having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
      Umm, sort of.  I had a good friend for many years who is no longer in my life.  I mentioned him in the Regrets TMI a few weeks ago.  I loved him deeply, and think I was half in love with him.  He helped me through some very difficult times.  I was perfectly willing to go to bed with him.  The emotional attachment was very strong.  I think the reason we never DID get together is that we were both so terrified that sex would ruin our friendship.  So we danced around it quite a bit and drove our mutual friends NUTS.  I wouldn't really call it a pristine or pure love, though.  We were both VERY aware of each other's faults.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you?  Describe this experience in full detail.
      Not so much.  I'm not my type.  I'm flexible and open to experimentation with a woman, but again, my body type doesn't appeal to me.  I appreciate toned arms and legs on women, neither of which I have.  It might be interesting to experiment with certain touching.  I do know what I like in some ways, and it's more difficult to stroke certain parts of my body with feather light fingertips then others.  And getting into position can spoil the erotic bent.  But really, not so much.

4. Cum, are you a fan?  Explain and expound.
       I'm not entirely sure what is meant by the question as it can be taken a myriad of ways.  I am a fan of TMI Tuesday, and The Naughty Hangout (TNH).  Especially the latter.  I was introduced to both by Nolens Volens after a friend referred me to his first blog (Alienus-Kairos).  NV doesn't play TMI Tuesday anymore, but his TNH posts are always wonderful.  I stalk him regularly.  I have also recently become a fan of Jack and Jill's blog, but they are quite prolific.  I'm not able to look as regularly as I'd like, and am only starting to really explore there.  Their answers are always quite thorough.

5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you while fucking?


       Let me explain a bit about my religious upbringing and spirituality.  My father is a Lutheran minister (formerly ALC and now ELCA) and as the men in his family going back many generations, all the way to the old country.  One of my great-grandfathers and great uncles on my mother's side were also Lutheran ministers, again going back many generations to the old country.  Clergy, service, divinity, et al runs through my veins pretty strongly.  I have a pretty firm foundation in theology, doctrine, church history and other things.
      So, from a childhood upbringing, yes, God knows/sees everything.  And God created things and set it in motion.  BUT God also gave us free will, and by disobeying in the garden we brought upon ourselves the concept of original sin.  OK, so God knows we fuck.  Knows how we fuck.  And even if He doesn't approve, He doesn't interfere because He gave us free-will.  My question then becomes-- if He is in charge of everything, doesn't He have far more important things to do than watch me fuck???  And He doesn't control me, because I have free-will.  PLUS, even if I'm a sinner in an evil, demented, sexual way--since He's all-loving as well, I get forgiven.
      So for ME, this question is downright silly.  But I know that many people don't feel that way.  I have to say I'm kinda impressed that some of my past lovers didn't totally wig out at my dog always insisting on being in the room.
      Now, from a contemporary perspective-- if the Divine(s) want to watch, I'm really ok with that.  It's not as though I realize They are there.  But with all the things They can be doing and observing, I have a hard time believing that I am REALLY all that interesting.  I'm sure we can all be good entertainment/stress relief on occasion.  I mean, really, would YOU want to be God or Goddess????  If They miss it the first time around, everything is recorded for posterity in the Akashic records, so they can always watch it later.  But with everything else, I can always REQUEST that some things be private.  Divine beings are pretty good about respecting your privacy unless you're a danger to yourself or others.  And they have a LOT of things on their plate--
again with the whole the Divine has better/more important things to do.  I'm pretty certain They enjoy a good bout of fucking, cuddling, and love-making on occasion as well.  Human creativity is pretty much limitless, but you can't tell me that some sexual practices weren't other-wordly inspired one or two times.  ;) 
      So, no, the prospect doesn't creep me out.  I don't worry about my soul being in jeopardy because of my sexual activities, preferences, or fantasies.  Occasional porn and naughty books aren't sending me to hell.  If I REALLY feel the need for privacy from Divine and/or non-carnates, all I have to do is ask.  Frankly, I think the Divines don't WANT to know everything.  Who would?  It spoils surprises, and in some ways breaks hearts.  We can probably TMI them out if we try really hard.  LOL 
      I know some people do worry about this, though, and it makes me sad for them.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.

      Nothing really.  My new toys arrived and I've tried them out a little.  Not sure how I feel about them yet.  Can't get a lot of privacy at present.  And I'm starting to get one or two new messages via FetLife.  Men who are interested in letting me abuse them.  So I guess that's something.

Wow!  I put up quite a few things this week.  What can I say?  I'm a nerd and currently back in academia, I cite everything.  :D  Don't forget to check out TMI Tuesday to see who else is playing this week.  And feel free to join us!