Sunday, August 26, 2012

TMI throwback-- 163

Once again I'm revisiting OLD TMI posts.  I wasn't sure if I'd care for this week's TMI Tuesday, it's not always my cup of tea.  I am trying to be a little more prolific among our naughty little community, so I figure this helps me to catch up a bit.  The following questions originate from TMI #163, on December 2, 2008.  I found it while perusing old entries by NV on his first blog.  NV closed that one for comments when he started Secret Spot 2.0 in January of this year, but it's still visible to the public and very entertaining reading.

Yes, he knows I stalk him, and hasn't called the authorities one me.  Yet.  Such a magnificent cock ....... (fans self)


I liked the questions asked on that particular day.  I tried to find the original TMI Tuesday post, but it seems to have disappeared with it being locked down, yadda yadda.  If you want to read NV's answers from that day, you can find them here.  NV submitted the Qs that week, and was thrilled to have them selected.  Following his lead, I will answer two times.  First from an everday perspective, and secondly from a sexual one.

1. What are your turn ons?
From an everyday persepctive I'd have to say intelligence, humor, kindess, and to an extent, education.  I prefer to surround myself with people similar to myself in those regards.  I am intellegent, educated, and a WORD NERD.  So if you can spar with me verbally, I want to be in your life even peripherally.

From a sexual perspective, looking at the physical only, I'm a sucker for a gorgeous set of eyes, men in glasses, a nice set of strong arms with broad shoulders, and men with large, strong hands.  (shudder)  Him being several inches taller than I is also my preference.  It makes me feel more feminine and petite.  Returning to the non-physical-- I mentioned word nerd-- loooooong periods of flirting via text, IM, email, across the table at lunch.... does it every time.  There are other things, certainly, but if I had to pick JUST ONE that I know is always relevant, I choose intellectual foreplay. 

And a man who can dance............ oh mama!

2. What are your turn offs?
Everyday-- rudeness, condescension, unwillingness to listen.  Everyone has a bad day; I get that.  But I do not have time for people who can't at least be civil on a daily basis.

Sexually-- I cannot STAND to be tickled.  And if you sneak up behind me thinking it's funny and manage to catch me unawares (which is rare) and tickle me, there's a very good liklihood you'll get decked.  It's reflexive for me, and I can't always pull the punch once I realize who it is.  Too much talking in bed can be a problem, as can the type of talk.  There's a line between erotic and explicit.  9 times out of 10 explicit is going to turn me off, or worse.

3. Not counting your turn-ons, what's the best trait a person can have?
Everyday-- integrity.  I chose this word carefully.  We all have strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes we falter.  But integrity encompasses many characteristics that I want in friends, family, and lovers.  Now, if you're a member of my inner circle, you have to have patience.  I'm blessed to have many people who love me, despite what a massive pain in the ass I tend to be.  So patience is a must.  As is having the ability to help me laugh, at myself and the world in general.  I tend to take things WAY too seriously.

Sexually-- I repeat with the patience.  I can count and remember all the lovers I've had, and name each except my one night stand.  I can count the men I've had intercourse with on one hand.  I find it daunting to enter into ANYTHING with a man at this point in my life, knowing that my abilities, skills, knowledge, etc is going to be woefully lacking.  So the willingness to let me find my own pace and learn is important.  Along with that comes experience, experience is a boon.  Someone who knows enough to help me discover in an atmosphere of trust and safety.  Widsom/experience helps with that.

And there's a certain level of confident, almost arrogant leadership exhibited by trustworthy men in a bedroom sense that just buckles my knees.  I'm one of those strong women who looks for someone else to be in control for a little while, even if it's temporary or illusory.

4. Not counting your turn-offs, what's the worst trait a person can have?
Everyday and sexually-- being unreliable.  Not following through.  I'm a busy woman, and when someone offers to do something for me or commits to do something, I need to know that it will get done.

5. What's your biggest pet peeve?
hmmmm, from an everyday perspective this is tough.  My brother clicks his pen as a nervous tick.  That gets on my nerves, but thankfully I don't see that brother very often.  People who are unnecessarily loud bother me, or who are loud all the time.  And I don't mean shouting to be heard across a room or someone hard of hearing who doesn't understand where her volume is.  People who text and drive both bother AND frighten me.  People who answer text messages during mealtime, or who consistently check their texts/messages when we're having a sit down conversation also get on my nerves.

Sexually-- I HATE having to always, or almost always, be the initiator. 

I dislike it when men try to direct my head if I'm going down deep throat.  Moving me to where he wants, fine.  Keeping my head where he wants it, fine.  Pulling himself further in, or locking me in place...... sometimes I choke.  That scares anyone and it breaks my rhythm.  Head is not about D/s for me, it's about mutual pleasure.  And to an extent, me having control in the sense that I'm driving my partner wild.  I'm not really sure how to articulate that one.

And I cannot STAND IT when men go straight for my crotch.  Let me warm up a bit please!  My clit, even when asleep, is FAR more sensitive than your cock.  That's scientifically documented.  There are twice the nerve endings in the clitoris than in the entire penis.  Lubrication does NOT EQUAL arousal, guys.  Not mentally, emotionally, or sometimes even physically.  Human bodies have adapted to survive, and if the hinderregion of a woman's brain thinks sex is imminet whether she wantsw it or not, oftentimes her body lubricates.  It's a defensive mechanism.

Or when kissing he immediately sticks his tongue down my throat.  Kissing is intimate for me, and while linked it's sex, it isn't something I engage in with all partners.  Bad kissing ruins things for me.  I know some of these are probably turn offs, but for some reason the pet peeves section felt more appropriate.

Bonus-- describe your best and worst experience
I'm a rare bird in one particular area of my life.  As loquacious as I am; by personality, upbringing and education; there have been a few very specific moments in my life that I treasure so keenly, I do not share them.  They are my own.  I pull them out and wrap around myself, reliving them in mind and spirit to the best of my ability.  In this way they stay untarnished.  Certain moments that I treasure are just for me.

And I rarely discuss my 'worst' experiences, sexual or otherwise.  That is what therapy and very close friends are for.  Now bad days, bad experiences?  Oh you betcha!!  Venting it my friend.  Like all of us I've had plenty of disappointing sexual interludes.  I will say that my first experience receiving cunnilingus was very disappointing.  Now to be fair, I didn't know what to expect.  My college boyfriend, I have no idea how experienced he was in these things.  Certainly more experienced in general, he dated from 6th grade on and I didn't have one real date in high school.  He was very strong in his feelings that certain things should wait until marriage, so we never went beyond oral.  I remember not getting much out of it, and that he really wasn't anywhere near my clit.  Just spent a lot of time sticking his tongue into my vaginal opening.  Now, had other techniques been engaged that might have been enjoyable.  But since that's all it was.... meh.  Not so much. 

And if anyone if wondering, yes, I AM buttering NV up with all these shout outs.  I'll leave it to y'all to wonder what I'm trying to get out of him.  :D


  1. OMG TY for the can we warm out without going straight for the clit. Married 17 years and an open one at that and I still have to remind hubby. Although he is getting better at foreplay.. thank goodness. Although I did have one FWB that just hearing him speak could get my motor started. I also hate to be the one to initiate all the time..Oh and just because something works one time PLEASE don't keep doing it EVERY time.. ok off my soapbox now...

  2. Great job with these questions! I especially appreciated that you had two answers for most of the questions. I love the fact that you identify as a word nerd. So do I. And flirting is awesome. Without the opportunity to flirt regularly I think my life might be less exciting and rewarding than it is.

    Your answers demonstrate good perspective. I note that you are hesitant to have a relationship given what I perceive as your lack of experience, but I would point out that the way one gains experience is by experiencing things. That you are determined to go at your own pace is admirable.

    I've never understood guys holding a woman's head in place. Unless she's made it clear ahead of time that she's into irrumatio - throat-fucking, to the layperson - I've always been of the mind that if I'm lucky enough to be getting blown, I should graciously allow her to do it her way. And I say that as someone who's pretty dominant; once I get a sense of what my partner is comfortable with I have no problem steering if she wants me to. But I'm not trying to make her throw up.


  3. Jack-- I lost much of my 20s to a brain disorder that runs in my family, so that contributed a lot to my not dating, etc. I'm "behind" my peers in many ways. Education, family, career, and I can only juggle so much at once. My health has been too hard won. Anyone I had regular contact with in high school has careers, mates, and or families. I'm 0 for 3 on that.

    But I had a few very good experiences in my early 20s that impacted my celibacy, beyond illness and being so college focused in those days. I think I shall blog about it at some point.

    And thanks for the new word. I'm taking an Etymology class this fall aimed at ASL interpreters. Am trying to decide if I should put irrumatio in my word journal.