Thursday, August 2, 2012

TMI Tuesday-- The Comfort and Thrill of Sex

These are the questions from last week, Tuesday, July 31, The Comfort and Thrill of Sex.  With how busy my life is, I will be pre-schedule posts whenever possible, so these won't correspond to the weekly TMI Tuesday.  I had intended to put this up NEXT Tuesday and be really late, but I'm having so much fun with other people's that I decided to get it up today.  Please excuse the various formatting discrepancies.  I tried to get it how I wanted but finally gave up from frustration.  So without further ado, TMI Tuesday.  You're getting my answers, AND some extra details for inquiring minds.  Feel free to ask follow-up questions in the comments section!!  I have a communication fetish.  ;)

1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?
a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I'm ok with it.
d. I don't enjoy it at all.
e. I have never given anal sex.
f. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start.

I've been hoping to start a D/s relationship with a local man.  He really enjoys pegging, and that's something that's been on my fantasy list for a looooooong time.  I'll keep you posted!  ;)

2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?

a. I love it.
b. I enjoy it.
c. I’m ok with it.
d. I don’t enjoy it at all.
e. I have never received anal sex.
f. I have never received anal sex, but would like to start.

I've never actually experienced anal, but it's something I'm interested in trying with the right man.  I've had a reoccurring fantasy of having one lover in my pussy, and one in my ass, for a very long time.  I know that it takes timing, trust, and practice.  Especially trust and comfort level.  I'd have to get 'the anal down' first.  Course, I REALLY prefer a thick cock in my pussy.  Length is great, too. Asses don't stretch the way pussies do, even with training.  It's not always feasible.
Maybe some day.....

3. How do you feel about getting undressed in front of a new lover, for the first time, as he/she watches you?a. It’s a turn on for me.
b. It turns me on a little bit.

c. I like it, but only because it gets him/her going.
d. It does nothing for me.

e. I don’t like doing it because I am shy.

f. I don’t like doing it because I think it’s immoral/improper.

I had to re-read this one a few times, because my initial answer had me highlighting more than B and E.  How I get undressed depends on my mood, energy level, et al.  I tend to be VERY shy with my lovers, not until a great deal of comfort level and trust is built up.  I've shown more of my body, more times and more boldly, to one specific close online friend that I think I have to ANY of my former lovers.  But our connection is INCREDIBLY emotionally intimate and I treasure that.  

Yes, all lovers have seen me naked.  Yes, I'll walk around when done but more because I don't want to bother with getting dressed.  But to actually deliberately undress.... that kind of intimacy takes me a long time.  When I know how much that he really wants me, and appreciates me on multiple levels.  I've never had a lover undress me before.  That's yet another level of intimacy, trust, and love.  I've yet to have a lover connect with me that deeply, or want to do those things for me.  Fingers crossed

It's goofy because I'd walk around naked as a jay bird with no compunction in clothing optional and clothing casual households.  So, lots of my friends' homes, and my own home depending on company.  lol  I have no compunction about stripping down in front of a medical professional or masseur.  We all have the same parts more or less.  Sex does complicate things.
4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?
a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).
b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).
c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).
d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).
e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).
f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.

I honestly have NO idea, that's a question for one of my ex-lovers.  But none of them were worth staying with very long, relationship or sexually.  I know I can be VERY loud.  And I like to be loud.  I really hate having to keep quite.  One of the joys of living with roommates, and knowing family members are in the house.  One day I'll be able to let go as much and as loudly as possible.  My best guess is that we're in A to B range for this one.

5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?
a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.
b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.
c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.
d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.
f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.
g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.

I'm gonna diddle with semantics here on this one.  Define talking "dirty"?  I can be VERY explicit sometimes, and really get into it on occasion.  So, answer B.  But I REALLY enjoy intellectual foreplay, double entendres, and all kinds of witty flirting.  That doesn't have to be dirty or explicit.  It can last minutes, hours, or days building things up deliciously.  Since it's foreplay and thus sexually related, I'd consider it talking dirty in this context.  That makes it answer A.

A smart man with a good vocabulary who wields his tongue skillfully around the spoken word ..... sexy as hell!  Smart and well-spoken are two things I always look for in a playmate.
6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?
a. quiet little mouse
b. low moaning wolf
c. screeching beluga whale

Ummm, D-- none of the above?  I know I'm not quiet, and I've no idea what a beluga whale sounds like.  Have a bit of an idea what a wolf sounds like so that's not quite right either.

Anyone want to come over and play?  We can find out the answer together!  :D

Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?

That one is easy on the surface-- comfort sex.  But reading Jack's answer made me reconsider my original post to be a little more specific.  I enjoy thrills on occasion, and trying things new.  I've gotten MANY wonderful ideas reading people's blogs and erotica online, not to mention several satisfying masturbation sessions.  
I RARELY fuck, though sometimes it can be fun.  For me, sex is about intimacy and connection.  That's why I named this blog the way I did.  I make love.  I value intimacy and strong relationships more than I do sexual acts.

But then, I'm relatively inexperienced sexually.  I didn't pop my cherry until just before my 30th birthday.  And my lovers haven't exactly been someone to write home about.  Eventually I shall have a decent lover, I have faith.  :)  For now I need more lovemaking, more true intimacy in my life in the physical realm.  But that is fodder for later posts.

There is FAR more to lovemaking beyond sex, much of it isn't even sexually related.  The quiet peace of cuddling someone you love.  The joy of an evening walk holding hands.  Lovemaking.  To be shared with friends, parents, children, AND lovers.  This is the type of thing Jack mentions.  The 'little things' that make relationships special, and help them last.  Also for me, though, the THRILL of sex comes from the connection, the trust, the history you've built together.  Finding new ways to keep that alive, and push each other further.  To be better for you, for them, for each other.  In AND out of the bedroom.

Remember kids, follow up comments and questions are WELCOME!


  1. Truth, doing TMI and being able to edit my photos, learning how to disguise the parts I don't like with clothing placement and still look and feel sexy has helped me immensely. There are still issues I have. Delivering 3 huge babies left my poor pussy forever scarred and I feel it is ugly. But having others tell me other wise is helping. I am LOUD,, which can be interesting if kids get up lol.

  2. There's always first time for everything. Just a matter of time in finding someone who's got the right tools... ;)

  3. LOL about kids, Angel. That's a concern I have if I ever have kids. Some can sleep through anything, though. I know Deaf adults with Hearing partners and Hearing children. They tell me that their kids can sleep through ANYTHING.

    NV-- by that do you mean to say that YOU have the right tools? ;)