So here's me killing time, procrastinating, and catching up with the TMI universe. These TMI questions originally come from April 5, 2011, and were submitted to the community by Hand in My Pants and Other Lustful Desires. I'm not answering all the questions since some have been discussed at other times. Plus I just don't feel like answering all of them. ;) Such is my hot and cold nature. :-*
1. Do you like to be called a slut? (yes, this can pertain to men as well)
absolutely NOT. I don't mind some derogatory epithets when applied jokingly by VERY specific fremily members, but I cannot imagine ANY context in which I would appreciate being called a slut
2. What is your definition of a real man or woman?
For this, I have to point to a quote pic that's making the rounds on the internet: "A real woman can do it by herself, but a real man won't let her." This goes for all genders and sexes as far as I'm concerned. Being whole by yourself is important. Being able to get through it by yourself (as much as you are able) is also important. But having people in your life who won't LET you go it alone, is essential. If your partner doesn't perform that vital, primary function for you... PUTTING a foot down and 'making' you accept help, or do what is best for you on occasion..... Then you can do better. And should.
THAT is the crux of what I seek. Someone who reminds me of my worth and supports me. Who encourages me to do it for myself, helps me recognize that I have the strength within me. But who assists me when I need it, insists when I'm being stubborn, and OFFERS when I DON'T need it. Just because I'm smart, talented, and competent does NOT mean I don't want someone to help me on occasion.
One friend, no longer in my life, will always have a special place in my heart. He was the first person to recognize that need within me, though he may not have recognized what he did at the time. We were at work one night, and I was struggling to hold onto my bundle and get the door open. He asked me, "Do you need some help" And I said no. He asked, "Do you want some help?", and I stopped full in my tracks. I really don't think anyone had ever asked me that before. I set my bundle down, took a deep breath, and said "yes, please".
I'm not very good at asking for help, never have been. And even WORSE at thanking people graciously when they help me out of a bind. Oftentimes I want help so badly, I don't realize that it's still within my power to succeed on my own. IE--During times of extreme stress it's all I can do to get out of bed and go about my regular business because I get so tired and overwhelmed emotionally. But I sally forth because that's what I do; in some ways it's all I know. Failure isn't an option, but yet I forget that I CAN succeed.
So a real man? He won't let me do it by myself all the time. And he'll build me up enough that I don't forget my own strength.
5. Would you rather be the boss in charge or the boss' right hand man/woman?
boy is this a hard Q for me to answer. I know what it is to be the "boss" in many areas of my life, sometimes nonstop. Leadership is hard, often thankless, and very, very lonely. I like to be in charge when I know what I'm doing. Now that I'm an adult it's easier for me to let others lead the way. Less fear, more experience, and a greater ability to trust. The freedom to follow orders instead of issue them can be liberating. I suppose it must depend on the situation. I've had great 'lieutenants' when I've been the boss. I know I wouldn't have managed without them. So I think I know how to be a good lieutenant. I also know how to be a good aunt, sister, and friend. There are certainly days when I don't want to be responsible for my own choices and have someone else tell me what to do, and I'll wager I'm not the only adult who feels that way.
So, I suppose, I'd like to be in a group or situation where we take turns leading and supporting/following. In other words, a flexible, team-oriented career and a large, loving, healthy extended family. Not too much to ask for, right? ;)
7. What sexual act would you never do again?
I had sex a few times on a full sized air mattress back when I first became sexually active. Really not easy, or comfortable. The doggie style was pretty much an unmitigated disaster. The floor may be uncomfortable, but it's more reliable. I'm sleeping on that same air mattress right now, actually, until I can afford to buy a new bed. It has a bit of a slow leak, but not bad. I put more air in it every few days. I have to wonder if the abuse it took over that weekend years ago contributes to the leak. ;)
9. Have you ever wondered how fucking feels to the opposite sex?
I have, actually. Some male friends have tried to explain what it feels like to have an erection, but there really aren't enough words. If I were to have a penis for a day, I'd definitely do some experimenting.
10. Do you remember the first time you heard the term clit, what was your impression?
No, I really don't. BUT I can tell you a fun story. Back in college, fall 2000, I was in a policy debate class. The affirmative resolution focused upon US aid to sub-Saharan Africa. Female genital mutilation/surgery was a topic of research and discussion. My teacher, Cate, powerful feminist and true Amazon, challenged one man in the class that day. I don't know if he was having difficulty discussing the topic, or trying to be PC, or what. He couldn't get the words out. Trying to understand his 'problem', Cate said to him point blank: "What, you can't say clit?" The whole class erupted into gales of laughter. Interestingly, I don't remember his reaction. But that incident made an impression.
11. What is the first thing you ever masturbated to or with?
Just a basic vibrator. The slim, phallus shaped variety. Nothing too fancy.
12. Ladies and gents does Male on Male sex turn you on? Ladies, would you enjoy seeing your husband or boyfriend touch, stroke, such another man in your presence?
Actually it does to an extent. Sometimes I like to hop onto youporn and check out the gay section. Not for a long time, just enough to get myself off and be done. Watching a man fuck another man, IDK what it is about it exactly. Certainly there's the power thing. Women are 'expected' to do and accept so much sexually. Watching one man being fucked by another satisfies some sense of justice? No idea. And as to having my partner with another man, I like the idea of another man being forced to fellate him, or accept my mate's cock up his ass. The idea of someone else actually enjoying my mate's touch??? hmmmm, no. I think I prefer to be the only one enjoying that. Something to think about if/when I partner. I DO very much like the idea of topping a submissive male with my mate. Or him watching me do it. I'm only just starting to explore my Dominant nature, though. So I've really no idea.
hope you enjoyed reading my dirty secrets ;) please, cum and join us playing TMI Tuesday on Worpress! It's not hard. Copy, paste, fill-in and share!